questionsdo you feel like you are entitled to something…

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I'm so glad that my family isn't that dysfunctional. There certainly won't be any arguing about whatever I have when I pass. It's all going to my son.

vote-for25vote-against

No. We actively encourage our folks to spend all their money on things they want. I've never understood the sense of entitlement.

vote-for35vote-against

i feel entitled to: time to mourn.
beyond that it's their time, life and money. they spent my inheritence on giving birth to me and raising me as a kid. and they did such a good job of that time is all i feel i have the occasional right to ask of them.

just for the record: this is why a will should be in place, just in case something unexpected happens

vote-for11vote-against

So sad that anyone would feel entitlted to anything. You are NOT. A will is good, names on documents (homes), checking/savings accounts are necessary. Know your state laws; hire an attorney. Change the specifics if needed.

vote-for12vote-against

I could sense my Dad's side of the family (really just one of his brothers and sister) leaning that way about his parents. My 15 year old brother died in an unexpected accident last year, and that shut them right up. It's important to focus on what really matters, like many of you have already noted. Focus on fostering the relationships while you have them and not the monetary issues. Time is too precious :)

vote-for14vote-against

I expect nothing and anything that is left for me will be a pleasant surprise.

That's exactly what happened when my grandma passed away and nobody fought over anything. Maybe it's my upbringing but I don't get how people can get so worked up over things like this. I'm sure my fambly split up jewelry and items like that but they were all very civil about it. I was very surprised to find that she had left a small amount of money set aside for me. It was totally unexpected.

vote-for11vote-against

I don't feel an entitlement to anything. I am fortunate enough that my parents have helped me far more than they could imagine (or that I deserve) in my coming-of-age. Thanks to them, we are already comfortable in life.

vote-for8vote-against

@dmaz: I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. It's never easy to lose someone, but at such a young age it must really be tough.

DH and I each still have our mothers, and at least in my case, there will be nothing to fight over, even if we were inclined to do so. DH's grandmother was pretty well off and we saw a bit of nastiness when she passed away, mostly from the wife of one of his cousins. Very polite, but trying to lay claim on things at Grandma's house before anyone else could. We asked to have a small ceramic figurine DH remembered from his childhood visits for our curio and were happy to have it. Later we found that Grandma had left each of her kids and their kids a bit of cash (equally distributed). This reminds me that DH and I REALLY need to update our will!

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Same thing happened when my Aunt passed away about 12 years ago, within hours of her passing, my cousins had her will out and was going over things, it made my Mom and the rest of us sick. Sick to the point we really have no relationship with them at this point.

When my parents made their wills I was with them. If Dad died before Mom, she got everything and vise versa. It actually happened that way and when Dad died Mom got everything and I expected nothing, but I'm not sure if anyone else expected anything. I encourage my Mom all the time to do what she wants, spend her money the way she wants. She wanted a new kitchen, she got it. I helped her remodel her living room. Now she wants a new bathroom, and I'm working with her to get that. I want her to live a comfortably as possible, because her and Dad worked for everything they had together and I don't expect anything if something happens to her, I want her to live a happy life for whatever time she has left.

vote-for6vote-against

Just to grieve, and to enjoy the memories I have.

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I told my parents to spend all their money and enjoy it. I can make my own way, and they've always been more than generous.

vote-for6vote-against

Money from my mom? Nah. I want my mom to be happy and do whatever she wants with her money.

vote-for5vote-against

It is their money. They can do whatever they want with it. Everyone makes their own path, and they don't owe me anything. In fact, I've told my parents to just sell all their property and retire already because they aren't getting any younger and should enjoy their twilight years in style.

vote-for-3vote-against

entitled to whatever the parents want and the government not taking a giant chunk of what they have already taxed.

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Really? More than once my parents have said they wished they knew exactly how long they will live so they could spend everything before they die. They stocked up on long-term-care insurance for their old age and have plenty of other resources, so as "not to be a burden on the kids." Don't believe it for one second. It's because they fear the payback if they had to depend on any of us for their care. It used to anger me that my childhood was so impoverished (emotionally), but I found life to be much richer once I let go of past injuries. I'll still take the money, though. I still owe my shrink.

vote-for5vote-against

I don't feel entitled, period. If I don't earn it, I don't deserve it. I didn't earn what my parents have, so I don't deserve it.

vote-for6vote-against

I didn't. My siblings did. That was a horrid, eye opening mess.

For my mother in law, I keep telling her, if she wants that vase to go to Tina, give it to her now, if she want grandaddy's rifle to go to Bob, DO IT NOW. Share those things now and enjoy the recipients happiness. If you wait for it to be done after you pass, it might not happen. She has scads of heirs. Right down to a couple of great-great grandchildren.
(names changed to protect the innocent)

vote-for7vote-against

We've all had wills drawn up in my family. I had one drawn up as soon as I had a child. We don't want any problems; not just with money, but also with health issues. I don't want my child agonizing over whether to pull the plug or not if something happens to me. I've already got that covered.

On a side note. We grew up in a town with a few well-off families. There was one that had a fit when Grandma decided to spend some of THEIR inheritance on making her life more comfortable. These were people with money who got upset because grandma was spending the money they had already decided was theirs. It really disgusted me.

vote-for3vote-against

Oh no, I expect nothing. If I end up with something great, if not, it's all good. I'd be more upset about their passing than not getting anything when they do pass.

However, if there is a will, I would hope it would be followed. When my grandmother passed, my aunt kept everything, even though my grandmother had a will saying money was to be divided equally. Too bad my aunt was the executor. She kept it all, while my mom and my uncle suffered. My uncle even lost his business when the money would have helped him along. Oh well. My mom personally wouldn't have minded, but she was suffering money wise at the time too, so it hurt her.

vote-for3vote-against

No. And not certain I would even participate (as the eldest) in any argument. I've watched it too many times; not just in our families but others.

My parents have specified some items "go to" to help stop this but in the end it seems there is always at least one that will whine about what happens.

Not looking forward to what happens when my wife's parents pass either. She has a sister that her parents are always helping in some fashion (this sister is the oldest and physicallly lives the closest) and I suspect she'll start with the "I want this" once it occurs.

Nothing destroys a family like the loss of a loved one, and it's not the loss that's the problem. My dad's sister hasn't spoken to him or his brother since their mom died for this reason. My mom has the same problem with her mother and younger brother for exactly the same thing.

It's all about greed and selfishness.

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I'm entitled to my Happy Memories and that is all I need...

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I'll be touched if they see fit to leave me something (and I am in the will, and I know they are, but that's not the point), but I in no way feel that I inherently deserve something just for having been their son.

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I've really been debating if I wanted to answer this question or not.

I happen to know that my mother has a very, very sizable life insurance policy (we both work at the same place and I have the same policy she does). My dad and her are divorced and she remarried to someone who had and makes much less money than her, and none of my family really gets along with him (has nothing to do with the divorce, dad cheated on mom and I get along with his partner just fine, but my moms new husband is just a weird guy). What I don't think is fair is for this guy to get more than my brother or me. We have both known my mother much longer than him (given the ages of all involved, that won't change), and we have both done a lot for my mom. Her divorce from my dad was very ugly and required me to grow up fast. I had to work in high school to help cover bills for needs like food and clothes, I didn't get to just be a kid. A lot has changed and we are all a lot better off than we were back then. cont.

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So while no, I don't feel entitled to something, I would be lying if I said I didn't think I deserved more than her current husband. He came in a long time after the fact. After I had helped my mom pick up the pieces and get her life back together. I don't feel I am owed anything, my family helps each other out and my mom has helped me through my share of bad times. However, I would feel hurt if he is left a greater share than my brother or I. 1/3 a piece I would be okay with, but not 50/25/25. I'd even be okay with her giving the whole policy to charity. It isn't that I want the money, its honestly more that I don't want her husband to have it. You all may not like that attitude but at least I was honest.

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My dad died last February and my inheritance was a tacky plaster cowboy. I don't expect any inheritance from my mom, she's legally adopted my niece and taken out a $100K life insurance policy and made her the beneficiary. My mom doesn't really own anything else of value. I never got anything but clothes and a roof from my parents, anyway. I moved out when I was 16. In many ways I was self-sufficient all my life, holding down kid jobs like mowing lawns and babysitting to buy myself the things I wanted, including a horse and a car as a teenager. So I never expected that to change. But I will confess that in a small dark part of my heart it bothers me that my mom is making sacrifices to buy this big policy to leave that niece a fortune yet doesn't appear to have considered my brothers and sister, her other nieces and nephew or me when thinking about leaving people behind. But my family is crazy, so what's new?

vote-for1vote-against

I just want back all the pets they took. The ones they sent to live on a farm, far away.

But seriously, I'll worry about my own finances, not theirs.