Would you use an Oreo Separator Machine?
This Oregon physicist built a machine that savagely separates Oreo cookies with a hatchet and (gasp!) removes the creme filling. Dear God -- why!!? If people really liked the cookies better, why are there Double Stuffs but no Triple Deckers?
Though I have to give him some kudos for the ingenuity, the catch phrase (@1:30) could use a little work. And I guess this guy now needs a new hobby. And maybe a moustache trimmer. Took him 0.04 years (that's two weeks for the rest of us creme-eating mortals). But too bad ladies -- he's taken!