questionsis this a new wedding trend, or just being cheap?

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vote-for14vote-against

Never heard of that myself. If it is a new trend I would hope there is some alternative deliciousness for your guests, otherwise I agree, it is quite rude.

vote-for37vote-against

It's funny you mention this. This weekend, I was listening in on a conversation between my wife-to-be and my future mother-in-law, about the details of our wedding in November.
My Portuguese isn't really that good yet, but I was able to follow along well enough to catch her talking about a "fake cake".
Needless to say, I was like: "What?!"
Apparently, the plan is to just have cupcakes, deserts and chocolates for eating...then, pay for a cake designer to decorate a fake cake, that is composed of a carboard, with frosting, so that you can follow the tradition of having a cake, without paying as much for it.
I told her I thought it was silly, but didn't argue the point...."If you think it will be nice, honey, I trust you!"

vote-for18vote-against

I can understand why you wouldn't get a very expensive traditional wedding cake, but not why you would have no cake at all. My very modest wedding was a garden wedding at a friend's cabin. I blew most of my wedding budget on a case of good quality champagne. As a wedding gift, one of my co-workers had her daughter and her friends play beautiful chamber music on flute and violin. Another co-worker with a side baking business offered to make me a cake at cost. Her cakes weren't usually beautiful but they were amazingly delicious. She made up for the lack of sophisticated cake decorating by simply bordering the pale peach-colored cake with tiger-lilies. The garden where the wedding was held was bordered with tiger-lilies and they were the primary flower in my bouquet. So I had a delicious and beautiful non-traditional cake that cost me only about $20. The wedding banquet was a cookout and everyone drank champagne and ate hot dogs and burgers and had a great time.

vote-for7vote-against

I like cake balls, I am not sure they save money as you can eat 20 of them easily. If you do get them keep them away from the line at the bar.

vote-for20vote-against

I don't think I've ever been to a wedding without cake.
I've been to a wedding that had a variety of desserts at the reception including cake, cheesecake and big cookies. There was a specific "wedding cake" that was small, on a separate table and that the bride and groom cut.

I was at another wedding where there was cake and also a couple of varieties of ice cream (and a mashed potato bar and a "kids' table" with lots of gummies and oreos...which the younger adults ate a good portion of. We ate well at that wedding.).

Another wedding had a smallish actual wedding cake and then pieces of a less expensive grocery store (but still very good) cake were brought out to serve to the guests.

And I remember a wedding where the groom's "cake" was Krispy Kreme donuts. And another where the groom's cake was Oreo cheesecake.

All were mighty tasty. It would seem weird to me to have a wedding without cake.

vote-for6vote-against

I'm gonna be the guy to lol @ weekends two weddings in a row. The last reception I was at a few months ago had cupcakes (which is still cake, and was pretty delicious).

vote-for9vote-against

I have yet to go to a wedding that hasn't had any type of dessert. I have seen that cupcakes are becoming more of a trend in recent years. I'm not talking about local grocery store 6 pack of cupcakes though. They are done very nicely and sometimes can look better than cake in my opinion. I'm not sure if it costs more or less, but I think that taking the time to decorate 200 individual cupcakes would cost a bit more than doing one large cake all at once. Either way I enjoy both, but I'd say someone skimping out on some sort of wedding dessert is more on the cheap side.

vote-for19vote-against

@dmaz: Remember, in any arguement the man should always get the last words.

They should be "yes dear".

vote-for12vote-against

@mtm2: If that doesn't work:
"I'm sorry".
Even if the only thing you really are sorry about is being the only right person in the room.

vote-for13vote-against

I'm old, and I've been to a lot of weddings. Some were mine.
Some folk want to have their own kind of weddings.
And tossing food at each other faces at the reception just doesn't always cut it.
Some are trying to make their own traditions. Holding court and handing out cake pieces vs mingling with the guests and relatives at large.
If you're cheap, sheet cakes from the grocery store work.
I've known two couples so far that followed the tradition of freezing that top layer, to be defrosted at their 1st anniversary. They were styrofoam.

vote-for13vote-against

There's been some big industry pushes for more elaborate (read: too f'n expensive) rituals. Like $25k weddings, or funerals. You talk to a coordinator, plans start getting made, and suddenly you went from a 3 to 4 to a 5 figure bill. WTF?!?! "Oh but it's YOUR big day! You NEED this! You DESERVE this!"
There's only two pieces. The actual wedding, with the vows. Then there's the reception.

Unless you're paying for a many years experienced pro photog, everybody else sucks. Big time.
Ask that everybody with a camera send you a copy of their pictures. There are deals for buying multiple disposable cameras- buy a bunch, stick a label on the back, and spread them out. Some of your best pictures will come from these. You are making memories!
You can get (cheap, like $1 cheap) mini photo albums at the store that develops your pix. Bridesmaids, mothers and the bride will all lerv one.

vote-for22vote-against

I'm currently planning (well, I'm tagging along while she is planning) my wedding - we haven't really considered a "no cake" route, but the one cake related cost savings measure that keeps coming up is to have a small fancy cake for the cake cutting ceremony and sheet cake to be served.

vote-for10vote-against

I think if you invite people to a party and you make sure they are fed and entertained, you can do whatever the heck you want, wedding-cake-wise. You're there to share in their joy, not dictate which specific customs they must adhere to. Maybe some people think it's a silly tradition; maybe some people would rather spend money elsewhere.

One of my friends put quite a bit of thought and money into her wedding cake. She was also the most ungrateful, miserable brides I've ever encountered. I'd have much preferred she skipped the cake (and the attitude) in favor of being an enjoyable person to be around on what was allegedly one of the most important evenings of her life.

vote-for12vote-against

@dcalotta: That makes total sense. Cake is crazy expensive, and once it's cut up, nobody is paying attention to whether it was originally a tiered wedding cake or a sheet cake.

Plus, some of the most beautiful cakes taste terrible. Fondant and modeling chocolate are made to be pretty, not to taste good.

vote-for16vote-against

I've been to three wedding (receptions) with odd "cake" circumstances:
1) Cupcakes baked by the bride to keep the wedding in budget.
2) Cheesecake pieces purchased at Sams Club because the bride hates regular cake.
3) No cake at all because the bride was diagnosed the week before with Type II Diabetes and decided that she wasn't going to have cake at her wedding if she didn't get to eat any of it.

I realize the circumstances are a bit odd, but so are the people I hang out with. I see no problems with a cake-less wedding (reception.)

vote-for15vote-against

We had absolutely no cake when I married my late husband. Not a bit. We had wine, but that was part of the ceremony, so it was a given. I have videos of the wedding (on VHS, and I really need to move them to a DVD before that's not possible to do). I haven't watched them in many years, but I admit I couldn't tell you what food there was, or even who (outside of the basic cast) was even there.

It was just a blur. Everyone cried, and we were hugged a lot. The one thing I'm certain of, though, is that there was no cake. We were actually part of a performance, and only the participants knew that the wedding was real (it was at a Renaissance Faire, many years ago, and we jumped the broom as part of it). We got an ovation from the crowd. It startled me the first time I watched the tape, since I hadn't been aware of it.

As someone else said, cake is not required. People should simply rejoice in the event, and be happy for the bride and groom.

vote-for10vote-against

I've been to two weddings this Summer so far. Mine is in 6 weeks.
Wedding #1: Neither the bride, nor the groom like cake, so they decided against it. They had an ice cream cake for themselves that way they could still do the whole "cutting of the cake and feeding each other" thing.
They then had an ice cream sundae bar for the rest of us.

Wedding #2: They had several different varieties of cup cakes arranged on multiple platforms -- displayed very nicely. They also had a small cake to cut/feed each other with. Ice cream (just plain vanilla, no toppings) were also served to the guests.

Wedding #3 (mine): We will have a traditional 5-tier cake...top layer will be kept and frozen. We'll have about 400 people, so we also have 2 and half sheet cakes that will have different flavors as well. Vanilla, Chocolate, Marble, Red Velvet, and Vanilla with Raspberry Swirl. We will NOT be serving ice cream though.

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@curli76: I hate fondant! Whoever thought that was a good idea should be shot! It seriously ruins a cake. Thankfully this is something that my fiance and I agreed upon right away. Yes, it looks pretty, but taste outweighs "pretty" when it comes to food in my (well, our) opinion.

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@dmaz: I was at a wedding with a cake made of cupcakes...It was stylish and delicious.

And I agree with @loosecannon67, there must be booze. But no dessert at all seems kind of weak.

vote-for8vote-against

I was a wedding this weekend that did not have a traditional cake. They said since wedding cake almost always is pretty bad tasting since the focus is on look rather then taste they went for wedding pies (multiple types) that tasted very good and then had a full run of the typical pastries, cookies and chocolate covered strawberries.

The bride wanted a smaller slightly less "traditionally formal" wedding and pulled it off nicely. Instead of having her bridesmaids all in the same dress no one will ever wear again she gave a basic color area she would like and let them each pick out their own dresses. She then pulled it together with flower bouquets that were filled with multiple colorful flowers rather then the traditional single color, often white, flowers. Reception instead of at a traditional hall had it at a smaller reception house at a state park beach and had an outdoor dance floor on the boardwalk. It came off really well and the reception turned out to be a lot of fun for all.

vote-for6vote-against

I too hate fondant! That stuff has the nastiest taste IMO.

Our wedding cake was made by my Mom and I helped her decorate it (she took cake decorating classes when I was a child and has been doing it for 30+ years but never professionally). It was a 5 tiered cake, the thing was huge, we had 100 guests, and every last piece of that cake was eaten. We even had trays of finger desserts on each table, and there were some of those left over from what I remember, but not one slice of Mom's cake. I've never been to a wedding without cake but I have heard how expensive they can get, so I can imagine that would be a big place to cut costs.

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@lichme: You found my typo. :D Yeah, I meant weddings two weekends in a row.

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@dmaz: Usually in a case like this, the "fake" cake isn't designed and built specifically for one wedding--it's usually a loaner or purchased pre-fabbed. Either way, it saves $$.

vote-for0vote-against

I'm sorry but other people's weddings are BORING. Always... So if I am to go to a friend's wedding, I expect food & cake!!!! Especially if I am part of the wedding party (which most of the time, I pay for the tux rental).

No Food/No cake? NO GIFT! that is all! :D I will take that registry item back to the store myself and get my refund to go buy a cake for myself to enjoy!

End of story lol

vote-for3vote-against

What about the social contract ?!?!

If you invite me to a wedding and expect a gift then I expect to be fed.

It doesn’t have to be elaborate mind you but I do want to fed grocery store cake is ok with me or no cake at all. But the statement that its my wedding and therefore I can do what I want is fine but don’t enter into the social contract of inviting me therefore expecting me to spend time and money to get their and purchase you a gift and not at least feed me something...

I don’t need to eat dinner but something is nice.

Personally we had pizza at our reception my 46 Nieces and Nephews under the age of 16 loved it and so did I. We had a cheap grocery store cake that was yummy and other things but by far the pizza was the big hit

The adults loved it because they didn’t have to take their kids to eat somewhere else on the way to or home which inevitably happens when you’ve driven a ways to a reception with small children and then feed them finger food they get hungry.

vote-for4vote-against

@shrdlu: I went to a wedding where the bride and groom jumped the broom. They also had their hands bound together (ceremoniously) and didn't wear traditional clothing but more towards the renaissance style. It was awesome, but there was cake to go back to the OP question.

vote-for15vote-against

The wife and I are 3 kids in, 8 years and in Love. Came home on R/R from Iraq paid the county $50 for a Marriage license then hit up the JP who had some great wisdom to pass. I've got friends divorced who are still paying for their weddings. Save the money for a honey moon.

vote-for5vote-against

I didn't have a cake at my wedding because I'm not really a cake person. We had chocolate mousse instead, which the hotel we got married at is known for.

vote-for5vote-against

Kinda off topic, but I was married once. Had a modest wedding. Older and wiser, and I just can't imagine wanting to do a big wedding ever again. Save the money for the honeymoon or house... If I ever get married again I want to elope to Vegas or New Orleans, then have a cookout upon return.

vote-for6vote-against

The drive-through in Vegas didn't offer cake as an option. :(

vote-for5vote-against

@bellavampyre: Cookout is key. Everyone wants to just get together, chill out (not in a suit and tie) and eat with good peeps.

vote-for5vote-against

My brother and his wife didn't do the cake cutting, but did have a small cake (for display) and slices of said cake as well as a variety of other dessert options at their recent wedding. At my wedding, we had ice cream cake. We wanted our cake from Cold Stone Creamery, but they were refusing to do a "wedding cake". So we just ordered 5 cakes (one big sheet cake for cutting, and 4 round cakes for display) and did the decorating ourselves. I did have a slightly nontraditional cake topper.

I have not been to a wedding without cake and/or some sort of dessert. Even the destination wedding I most recently attended had an (albeit terrible) cake at the island resort.

vote-for6vote-against

@gilfilent: EXACTLY... It will be total nontraditional. My dress is going to be fire engine red and white.... lol Now I just need to find a groom.

vote-for4vote-against

Depending on the direction my life takes, I suspect that my wedding will feature a naked cupcake (and roasted artichoke dip, of course!).

vote-for2vote-against

How about just make your own? Or bribe your relatives to do it? Joy of Cooking has a great cake recipe...

Honestly I don't care either way myself, and with how expensive weddings are getting, I don't blame anyone having a wedding not having the cake.

vote-for4vote-against

@gidgaf: "I didn't say it was your fault -- I said I'm going to blame you!"

vote-for3vote-against

I'm old and set in my ways. If it's a wedding, there should be cake.

My son and his wife did much of the wedding decorations and accoutrements themselves to save money, but they had a really lovely, delicious cake from the local Publix grocery store. The cake folks there did a superb job at a relatively reasonable cost.

My latest wedding was small, with fewer than 20 guests, and a simple but elegant cake: single layer, heart shaped, with butter cream icing and peach-colored roses. Very understated, totally celebratory, and wonderful to eat.

Ain't a real weddin' without the cake!

vote-for3vote-against

@bellavampyre: ooh, my wedding color was a brilliant red, and my dress was ivory with major red accents. All my bridesmaids wore red dresses of their choosing. If I were to do it over, I would pick a dress with even more red on it :)

vote-for5vote-against

New trend? Could be, not really important though, is it? Trends are so....well...trendy. Are they still doing the "white & black" wedding thing? Nice, if white & black are your choice. Silly if it isn't.

Cheap? Could be that, too. And that's not a bad thing either. Personally, I find huge, over-priced weddings a waste of money. But that's just me. Been to a number of elaborate sit down, dinner-served-by-waiters weddings. Great BIG huge cakes, alcohol flowing freely. Were those better? Not for me, a guest.

Do the bride & groom want that? Up to them, of course. If you're going to be disappointed if there isn't a cake, then you don't know that couple & you may have missed the point of sharing in their celebration.

vote-for2vote-against

I've seen grocery store bakery cakes at backyard weddings. But really, I don't think it matters what you do for cake - it's your wedding. Plan it for you and those closest to you. The only thing I wouldn't skimp on is the photographer/videographer. And Definitely have disposable cameras around.

vote-for3vote-against

Most of the weddings I've been to are Somali weddings, which are totally different from standard American weddings. There's always some kind of dessert, but it's rarely some fancy-schmancy fondant-draped cake.

vote-for3vote-against

Costco makes some of the most delicious cakes I've ever tasted....and many of them are decorated fancy enough for a wedding at a very reasonable cost.

vote-for2vote-against

If I ever get married, I'm just gonna have wedding donuts. Day old to keep it cheap.

vote-for4vote-against

One wedding I went to recently, the bride's parents owned an ice cream shop. Thus many kinds of ice cream and every kind of topping you could think of. I thought it was great. Wedding cake usually tastes lousy.

vote-for3vote-against

in this economy, many people are hurting, and when you throw in student loan debts, the idea of paying huge sums for a fancy cake can be scary. Many people are spoiled by the idiotic cake shows and cupcake shows on tv, and so have unreasonable expectations.

Personally, I'd still try to serve some type of cake, even a costco one.

Oh, by the way, I typically DJ at least a dozen weddings per year, and I've yet to see a "traditional" wedding reception without some sort of cake.

vote-for2vote-against

We had a cake, 3 tiers of butter cream painstakingly smoothed by the bakery to give it that pretty finished look without adding the layer of fondant no one in their right mind wants to put in their mouth. It was pricey, but man did that cake taste good. On our first anniversary my husband surprised me by bringing home a replica of our top tier that said "happy anniversary" as we had devoured the original in the days post-wedding. Birthdays, other special occasions, and random pick-me-ups usually include a cupcake or two from this same local bakery to this day. Oh, and friends had a Cakes Plus (Ace of Cakes bakery) cake at their wedding the year prior. Looked AMAZING, tasted dry and sad. I'll stick with my yummy one.

My cousin had a candy bar with large apothecary jars filled with candies, and a cake. Cake pops, cupcakes, and sliced cake are all good. I'd miss it if there were no cake at all.

vote-for1vote-against

As a wedding planner, some of my brides and grooms have opted not to have cake at their weddings. The choice was not made to save money or "be cheap," but because they personally were not into cake, and prefered (and served) other dessert options.