questionscdc denies existence of zombies. are you relieved…

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Didn't the CDC release a Zombie survival tip a while back? I know it was probably a joke, but still...

Or perhaps I dreamed the entire thing.

Besides, everyone knows they're not called zombies. They're called White-Walkers.

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@capguncowboy: you didn't imagine it. They even sold a t-shirt, which I own :)

And I'm not so much relieved as indifferent.

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The "Zombie Apocalypse" that is coming won't have real zombies, but mass rioting may be coming. The losing side in the Wisconsin recall vote yesterday is threatening assassination. The 99%'ers have been pretty restless. The economy still stinks and if Obama loses the November election a lot of people will be violently disappointed. The only reason the CDC does not know of a zombie virus is that they do not consider liberalism a disease.

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@capguncowboy: Don't you see? They're using an alias to keep you off balance. Stay alert!

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@nortonsark: Hmmm. Seems like you know an awful lot about zombies. I suspect you are one.

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In other up-to-the-minute news, Orson Welles' radio broadcast of War of the Worlds wasn't real either.

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Buzz: Sheriff, this is no time to panic!
Woody: This is the perfect time to panic!
Toy Story

Also when I see CDC, I keep seeing it a CDA (Child Detection Agency) from Monsters, Inc.

Update: Oh yeah, remember that guy eating the other guys face in Miami last week?

Well, some genius decided to prank people in Miami (of all places) as a Zombie.
I loved the ending.

http://youtu.be/4awVqRr1eCo

Suddenly gangsters are running away scared and this guy almost gets shot at around 2:00.

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I'll handle it either way. I'm ready.

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If you live near San Diego and have $70, you can practice some zombie preparedness in July:

www.thewalkingdeadescape.com/

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If you got a look at my son when he first gets out of bed in the morning you would believe that zombies DO exist!

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@notanaardvark: Dude. That's AWESOME!! I'm so down to do this...

They should make that a yearly thing if it isn't yet.

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@joshobra: Walker, survivor, or (I'm guessing not) spectator?

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@notanaardvark: Survivor. Judging by the specs... it looks like Wipeout and The Walking Dead put together. (Okay, so that was a little more obvious).

And for everyone else also, don't forget the 33 rules of zombie survival!

Cardio
The Double Tap
Beware of Bathrooms
Wear Seat Belts
No Attachments
The “Skillet”
Travel Light
Get a Kick Ass Partner
With your Bare Hands
Don’t Swing Low
Use Your Foot
Bounty Paper Towels
Shake it Off
Always carry a change of underwear
Bowling Ball
Opportunity Knocks
Don’t be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero)
Limber Up
Break it Up
It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless it’s a sprint, then sprint
Avoid Strip Clubs
When in doubt, Know your way out
Zipplock
Use your thumbs
Shoot First
A little sun screen never hurt anybody
Incoming!
Double-Knot your Shoes
The Buddy System
Pack your stain stick
Check the back seat
Enjoy the little things (TWINKIES)
Swiss army Knife

-- Zombieland

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While I cannot argue with @nortonsark's points, I'd like to add that the CDC is part of the government. All you need to do is watch an episode or two of the X-Files and you won't take their word for anything.

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@capguncowboy: Check out http://www.cdc.gov/phpr/zombies.htm.

In particular, there's a good quote about zombie preparedness. "As our own director, Dr. Ali Khan, notes, 'If you are generally well equipped to deal with a zombie apocalypse you will be prepared for a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake, or terrorist attack.' So please log on, get a kit, make a plan, and be prepared!"

So, even if the CDC doesn't believe in the Zombie Apocalypse, it does believe you should be prepared for it...

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Right now I'd also be afraid of sudden spider attacks. I hate spiders as much as I hate zombies.

Anything with more than four legs or walking dead is on my no-bueno list.

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True Dawn of the Dead zombies? No, they won't exist. But if something were to happen and something like the rabies virus, which causes all sorts of fun stuff like intense irritability and such were to become airborne somehow, then yes, zombies will exist. Thankfully though, if that ever happens, you don't need a headshot to deal with one, any lethal attack will kill said zombies. Or you could simply wait for them to succumb to the disease while holed up somewhere.

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Cannibals R ZOMBIEZ NOAWWW??!!! SO KEWLLLLLLLL.

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OMG! Went to the CDC website and they are selling Zombie task force t-shirts, clicked on link to see what they looked like and guess what? Sold OUT IN ALL SIZES!!! Gotta love it!!!

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all i know is i got a toyota pickup, a shotgun, and a 12pack in case of zombie emergency.

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Very relieved.

Nevermind shuffling noise, just fluffy kittehs playing in leaves.

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CDC = bunch of goverment bureacrats who work in the public health field. They are part of the conspiracy. The secret experiments that were taking place in at the "INS Detention Facility" in south Dade County have gone wrong. They are trying to contain the outbreak, but it won't work.

Start stocking up on guns, food, water, ammo, and clothing. And get cracking on those workouts. Rememeber rule one: cardio.

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I am not so much relieved as I am concerned that there are so many re-tarded people in this country that though the CDC site was real. Seriously just how stupid are we getting as a nation???

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Of course the CDC denies the existence of zombies. Who do you think RUNS the CDC?
And "Center for DISEASE CONTROL?" All I'm saying is, I sure don't know too many humans that have the power to control disease.
Think about THAT.

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@notanaardvark: LOL! I remember seeing this and this also from a few years back.

Somebody please mass produce flamethrowers right away!!!

.

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@joshobra: tried . not . to . click - now suffering anaphylactic arachnophobia.