questionsdisciplining (including spanking) family members…

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oops - meant for this to be in chat. sorry! (tattled)

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I'll just leave this here until it gets deleted.

I forget the reason, but I remember I kicked the crap outta my aunt when she confronted me AND laid her hands on me back in middle school. I remember backing off until she put her filthy hands on me. This was also in front of my uncle while they were at my house. When he tried jumping in to get some, he got an ass whoopin' too. After all these years, I don't regret it, not one bit. They shouldn't have tried it.

I don't have children of my own yet and I do believe in spanking as discipline, but I don't believe you should discipline children other than your own. If my brother hit any my as yet unborn children, he'd be in trouble with me.

Raise YOUR kids right and I'll raise mine. Just my two cents.

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I am sure this varies from family to family in acceptability and degree. I find that my goal at family gathering is to actually goad children into horrible behavior until they get beaten by their parents.

Then I tell them to suck it up.

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Our rule of thumb is that spanking should be done by the parents if they chose to do it. Other forms of discipline or fine if the parents have left the kids in your care. If the parents are there, then discipline the parents.

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When we are all together the oldest elder still disciples everybody.

In fact, over the weekend I was discipled in front of my eldest daughter. Why? Because I provoked another sibling into getting in trouble from his pregnant wife. (It was still worth it.)

As long if the disciple is out of love, support, structure, and for valid reasons, rarely will I have a qualm about it.

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@xarous: I can't help it.

"You keep using that word. I do not think that word means what you think it means."

Disciple /= discipline.

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@shrdlu: That is my bad. That is what I get for not proof-reading and trying to do too many things at once. Seriously.

Thanks though for correcting me. I've been reading the newspaper too much today about the "controversy" of Easter. I guess I have disciple on the brain.

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This is a really odd forum for this conversation.

That being said I think everyone should discipline their own kids. The minute your kid steps outside the boundries and you don't act as a parent, depending on the situation, I'm at the least going to say something you both of you, and at worst, I'm bending you both over my leg.

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Spanking is for parents who don't know how to properly raise their children.

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I was spanked as a child when I did something really wrong, and I knew it. It was always in private, never in a public place (like some people do at the museum that I work at [it's a science museum, lots of kids.]). And it really only took a couple times of me misbehaving big time for me to realize that I can't do it and get away with it.

As for disciplining other's children, other than your own, I think that it should be left up the the direct parent - If you're babysitting, let them know that you're going to tell their parents of their misbehavior.

I think that one important thing is to not be wishy washy about it to the child. If sometimes he gets away with it because you don't want to discipline him, it will take longer and, in the long run, more spankings/disciplinary action because they will have the mindset that there's a /possibility/ that they can get away with it. If they know that for a fact they'll be punished no matter what - they might think twice before acting out.

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My house, my rules. I will correct any child in my house not following my rules. I won't spank another person's child but if they continue with the said behavior, I would not hesitate to do get them away from the activity, do a time out, or something to end it. If the parents are present, I will tell them (not in front of the child) that behavior is not allowed in my house and they will need to see that their child respects my house rules. If the parent doesn't agree, they are free to leave.

Heck, I correct kids in stores, at other people's houses, playgrounds, etc. I think it's silly to not let a child know when they're crossing the line, doing something dangerous, etc.

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@thunderthighs: Correct or spank, in public, or are they one in the same?

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I have two sons aged 13 and 14 who attend a paddling school in USA. They are also subject to paddling and belt spanking in the home too.