questionsfunny true stories. cheer up everyone...

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When (now ex) hubby and I went on our honeymoon, he forgot his toothbrush so we bought a new one. Upon our return home, I used his old toothbrush to brush the dogs teeth (see where this is going?). I carefully put that toothbrush to the side of the sink far away from our toothbrushes in the holder.

For 3 mornings in a row, I would find it in the holder. I asked him why he kept putting his old toothbrush back in the holder. "That's where I put it after I use it?" Asked him why he wasn't using his new toothbrush and he said he liked the old one better.

"Why?
"Oh, no reason."
"What did you do?"
"Nothing."
Stare.
I finally fessed up.

Oh, he was pissed. Sent out an email to all our friends at work. (We worked at the same place.) One of my friends put a Milk Bone on his desk.

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Ha... thanks folks, I needed that. Let's see if I can dredge up a happy memory of mom.

We were at the mall a while back, and we got separated. When we found each other, she was laughing. I asked why.

Seems a security guard had spotted her searching faces and looking concerned, so he asked what the problem was. "I've lost my daughter!" she told him.

He took out a notepad. "Can you describe her?"

"She's got long dark hair and big brown eyes," mom said. "She's wearing a t-shirt with a dog on it, and jeans and sneakers."

The guard took careful notes. "And how old is she?" he asked.

"Thirty-two," mom said.

"Thirty--WHAT?"

For some reason he was not amused. We sure were, though...

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I have a co worker who will eat anything that is put out on desks and we found out recently that means anything that might look like food.

One day one of the girls had brought in her doggie treats to give to another co worker who was dog sitting her puppy while she was away that weekend. They were square and looked sort of like organic cookies, since they are organic type doggie treats. I knew they were doggie treats because I had puppy sat the same dog, plus I just KNEW they weren't people food. But this guy being the grazer that he is picked one up and ate it! Our other co worker couldn't stop him that is how fast he is about eating stuff.

For Christmas she gave him a box of them for a treat for his own dog.

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@nvaine: I think I'm in the same boat as you, stuff has not been well recently =/

Pretty good story from the other day, I suppose.

This past friday I was getting ready to lock myself in a lab, and try to get some work done, or anything along those lines. While I was getting lunch on of my roommates who was helping set up a concert asked if I knew where a college was near my home town about three hours drive from here. I say 'yes' he tells me one of the concert guys needs a delivery to that college. (I'm in college) My next response was, 'well, how much is he willing to pay?' my roommate responds 'Name your price'. So I end up going to talk to the guy and I get paid $130 to drive 6 hours total and deliver a cable. It's the closest I've ever come to smuggling, very exciting! :)

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Once my sister, cousin and mother were driving in the car to go shopping. My sister had been going on about how she was going to be getting an Eclipse (type of car) when she got her drivers license.

So my cousin said to her that she had seen solar eclipses and lunar eclipses, but she had not seen the eclipse that she was referring to.

My sister in her wisdom replied, I am not sure if it is solar powered or gas powered, but I’ll point it out when I see it.

It’s a good thing my mother was stopped at a light when this conversation took place, otherwise she would have crashed because she was laughing so hard.

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Several years ago, I worked with a lady that rarely took time off. She left early one day, and that was enough to spawn questions. She mentioned that she was getting dental work done, and it involved "putting posts in" for additional later work. We promptly forgot this.

A week later, she didn't show up for work. Everyone (including the admins) forgot that she took the day off & her absence caused a minor ruckus. A few of us were trying to figure out where the lady was when her supervisor walked by. We asked him, "Do you know where Kathy is this morning?" He continued to walk as he replied, "Yes. She's getting implants today."

Needless to say, we busted up laughing as the supervisor ran back around the corner yelling "DENTAL implants! DENTAL!!! DENTAL!!!!"

The supervisor earned our contract's "Quarterly Technical Mishap" award for his phrasing. What did he receive, you may ask. The golden sippy-cup trophy that we passed with the award and two large melons (cantaloupes).

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@hobbit: Thanks! Now I have accomplished absolutely nothing while at work today. If I get fired, I am blaming you!.

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@sgoman5674: now I didn't say write 1,000 words about every picture!

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Ok, same sister.

The whole family went on a vacation to Kartchner Caverns (http://azstateparks.com/Parks/KACA/). When they looked up what was around there for sleeping and food arrangements there were advertised a couple of hotels and various different kinds of restaurants.

When we arrived for our trip, we all looked around at the sights (if you have ever been to the rest stop nearest the caverns, there isn’t much).

My mom exclaimed that there weren’t any of the restaurants claimed to be in the area.

My sister then proceeded to point out the eateries. American - McDonalds, Italian - Pizza Hut, Mexican TacoBell and Seafood.

We were all mystified, we all saw the others, but not the seafood place. We asked her where she saw it. And she pointed out, with a sense of satisfaction of knowing something we didn’t, to the Shell Gas Station!

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@sgoman5674: please tell me your sister was 10.

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@hobbit: The first story she was 15 and the second one 16 I think. She has her moments.

But to her credit, there aren't many shell gas stations in AZ.

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@sgoman5674: Yes but aren't they all over your home state, or did they up and leave due to that nasty busines in South Africa? I know they were forced to downsize.

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@hobbit: Where we were and where she went, there were barely any.

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I've debated on telling this story since I first saw the post. Here goes...

For quite a while one of my research areas was artificial life, which encompasses computer viruses and the like. First, the disclaimer. I have NEVER released, nor been involved in the release of, a virus.

I kept all the live viruses on red floppies. Unfortunately, I also love puns. I labeled one of the after the movie, Das Boot. Oh, I'll bet you can guess what comes next...

I was having a bit of trouble with a machine, and decided to boot from DOS to use some tools to check the hard drive. I grabbed a Dos Boot floppy, but the machine wouldn't boot from it (although the disk appeared to be doing something). I took the floppy out, rebooted the machine, and it went to the prompt, with a "Boot from what sector?" Oh, dear. My 20 gig disk now looked like a 400 meg disk, and had only four sectors. Why yes, I did infect my disk with a boot sector virus.

Oops.

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@shrdlu: Do you also keep your boot disks on red disks?

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@sgoman5674: No, not even then. I have no excuses. That's why I thought it was funny. I laughed even at the time, once I got over the shock. It was a system that was not windows, and so would not have been prey to most viruses in any case, but a boot sector virus still surprised me. That one had been common when disk drives were considered HUGE if they were larger than 400 megabytes. It not only infected it, it altered the geometry to do so. Impressive.

All my viruses, including documentation, when to a friend when I retired.

Actually, right next to the wrong floppy, was the right one, only the floppy was orange, not red, and said Dos boot. I didn't laugh as hard after I put in a (write protected, thank you) floppy with tools to do a low level format, and had to do it twice, first just to get the geometry corrected, and then to get the original size back.

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Ok, this is not a story, but it is true and it is funny. This goes out to all the bacon lovers our there http://ow.ly/1BokY

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@thunderthighs: hahahahaha the Milk Bone takes the biscuit