questionswhat the funniest/most embarrassing thing your…

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My mother-in-law took my son and I to lunch when he was around 4 or 5. When she asked him what he wanted for lunch, he told her "I want dead animal flesh Nana." Her jaw dropped to the table and I almost erupted in a laughing fit. (Yes, there is a whole story devoted to how my son decided to tell her this, but it's a bit long for this forum.)

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@woadwarrior: we have time and space. i gotta hear this

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My wife and I don't smoke or drink. We do our best to maintain healthy lifestyles and we encourage our children to do the same. My son had seen someone smoking in a movie and asked what that was. I told him it was a cigarette and it can cause cancer. Of course, I explained that cancer can kill you.

A few months later, we had a yard sale and a man was looking through stuff smoking a cigarette. My son looked at my wife and yelled at the top of his lungs "Oh-uh-OH! He's smoking. He's gonna' die! That's naughty!"

I just looked at the man who was staring and said "Please don't smoke in my carport."

He scuffed and left. I wasn't embarrassed, but it was a bit awkward.

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@moosezilla: Truth be told, it's more like I just don't like to type a lot. ;)
Anyway, my son and I belong to a medieval recreation group (The Society for Creative Anachronism). One of the activities that I do Is armored combat. Typical response when any of us who do the combat are asked what we'd like to eat is "We want dead animal flesh!" Well, my son and I joined this group shortly after he turned 2. So after hearing this response from a large number of my friends and myself for a couple years, he did what any other child his age would do and repeated it. It took a good 10 or 15 minutes to explain things to my mother-in-law partly because I was trying not to laugh at her shocked reaction.

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Mine is a common one, which I expect will have happened to most parents.

'I gotta poop' at the top of his lungs. Once in a grocery store, and once in church.

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In a crowd of Latinos, my 3 y.o ish son loudly asked why he didn't have brown skin.
My blue eyed, white, blond headed kid. Cue splainin about different races.
This same child grew up and had his DNA tested. Still grossly disappointed to find absolutely no African (the continent) ancestry. He can explain all that Adam & Eve lineage stuff. I believe that I make him have a sad face because I don't listen to him.

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My wife's a fan of Aqua Teen Hunger Force and was saying "Uh Oh, Polio" because she recently watched that episode.

So one day at church our 3 year old was playing with his Batman toy and was having batman say "UH OH! I GOT POLIO ALL OVER ME, AHH!"

So I decided to change it to "Uh Oh, Spaghettio"

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My three year old, after insisting that he was perfectly capable of going to the restroom by himself in a small local family-owned restaurant, subsequently leaned out of the door of the bathroom (which was behind me, so I didn't see him immediately) with his pants around his ankles and hollered, "I NEED HELP WIPING MY BUTT!"

I did some very quick calculations in my head and concluded that unfortunately I probably couldn't bolt out of the front door before someone stopped me.

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We were in the check out line at the grocery store. My son was about three at the time. He looked at our stuff on the belt and announced very loudly " Mommy, you forgot beer". Out of the mouths of babes...

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@maggie3052: thats not embarrassing, that's a good kid!!