questionsdo you know any good science jokes?


"Want to hear a joke about Sodium Hypobromite?"
"Na Bro"
I heard Oxygen and Potassium went on a date and it was OK
What do they do when a scientist dies? They barium!


@conanthelibrarian: OMG, I love that site, can't wait to share it with her!


This one is also pretty amusing...


My training is in computer science, but my favorite nerdy science joke is about chemistry (go figure!) :

A chemist was in a bar, and was challenged to a drinking contest by one of the regulars. The chemist agreed, providing they each got to chose what liquid they would drink.
When asked what he wanted, the chemist said: "Bartender, give me a large mug of H2O!"
Thinking the chemist must believe he was really uneducated, the bar regular said: "Okay, Bartender. Give me a large mug of H2O, too!"
Needless to say, the chemist won.

(And if you don't get it, say it aloud.)


You are all the best, she is going to love these!


I'm an engineer, I love math jokes but one of my favorites is a computer joke.

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. those who understand binary, and those who don't.

This will probably offend someone but I don't care

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

and this:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.

Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time.

Since: Knowledge = Power,

then Knowledge = Work / Time,

and Time = Money,

then Knowledge = Work / Money.

Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.


and finally

Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.

waaaa, waaa, waaaaaaaaaa


A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"

Bartender replies, "For you, no charge."


Postulate 1: Women equal Time and Money

Postulate 2: Money is the root of all evil.

Postulate 3: Time is money.





Sorry girls... I had to


@nmchapma: The sound effect was almost as good as the joke!


@omnichad: Yeah, I think my own answer to the question should have been "no."


Atom 1: I think I lost an electron!

Atom 2: Are you positive!?


Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." He doesn't react.


One day, Einstein, Newton, and Pascal meet up and decide to play a game of hide and seek. Einstein volunteered to be “It.” As Einstein counted, eyes closed, to 100, Pascal ran away and hid, but Newton stood right in front of Einstein and drew a one meter by one meter square on the floor around himself. When Einstein opened his eyes, he immediately saw Newton and said “I found you Newton,” but Newton replied, “No, you found one Newton per square meter. You found Pascal!”.


Here's a great one! Humans evolved from Apes!! Haaa Haaa!!
That one gets me EVERY time!!! ROFL!!!


@adadavis: " Here's what I heard in my head:";

Me also -- exactly that!


@magic cave: I heard it too.

Wow, she is going to laugh so hard when she hears these jokes, my fellow Wootizens, you are so witty, I knew this was the place to ask. Thank you all so much!


@dealseekerdude: Yeah, no kidding. Everyone knows humans and apes share ancestors.

j5 j5

Or you could greet her wearing this t-shirt:

Not posting it as a deal since it's kind of high at $17 but check it out at


@belyndag: cute, maybe some science shirts for her aren't a bad idea.....


@pickypickypicky: Keep it interesting and fun now while she is young and it'll stick with her. I know she isn't your daughter but encouragement from people close to her (that aren't parents) goes a long way :-) Dispite my women joke above, the science and engineering fields can always use more women. Great job trying to encourage that :-)


Wanna hear a Chemistry joke?


What do you do with a sick chemist?

Well if you can't Helium, I guess you Barium.


@nmchapma: When she was 4, she was telling someone about a science experiment. She was so animated and enthused about it, the person told her she should be a scientist. Her response was "I already am a scientist". Luckily, everyone in her life is fully encouraging her, and here we are 4 years later, and she is as certain as ever about her interest. I am saving up for the electron microscope. :-D


@j5: If that's true, I've never seen them at my family reunions! On second thought, cousin Guido does kinda look like a hairy ape! ;-)


Q. What is a pirate's favorite element?
A. Ar


What do you call this:

Fe | Fe
\ | /
\ | /
/ | \
/ | \
Fe | Fe

A Ferrus Wheel!!!


Booooooo spacing failure in the UI!!!!!!