questionsso i'll try this boc thing again

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Whatever you do, please don't make us ask for a bag of crap and then specify whether we want #1 or #2 crap. I'm not sure anybody is actually going to come out a winner with that choice. Maybe A or B crap would be a better expression?

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How about the answer with the most upvotes gets the BOC. That'll spice things up.

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@eraten: I kinda like that idea actually. Hm..

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“As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.”
-Dick Cavett

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Step 1: Offer a BOC as a random drawing to drum-up mass interest
Step 2: Trick everyone into thinking they're "winners" and obtain their identities and addresses
Step 3: ...
Step 4: Profit

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Two peanuts walk into a bar........... one was assaulted.
They found out it was the energizer bunny.......... he was charged with battery.

+1 for the list

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Remember, connecting your computer to the internet without any virus protection is like catching an STD without any of the fun part.

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So on Halloween, there was a trick or treater that came to my front door. I opened it up and he said "Brick or Breat!"

It was obvious that he had a speech impediment so I decided to be overly friendly because I felt bad for the kid. "Oh, you're a pirate! Where are your buccaneers!?" I asked him with a smile.

The kid just looked up at me like I was an idiot and said "They're on the side of my buckin' head!"

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I've been waiting for a place to post this:

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Mom and Dad Potato sit down with their three daughter potatoes. "Kids," they say, "you're old enough now to go out and find yourselves husbands. We want you to be happy with them, but we also want you to be sure and choose a husband the whole family can be proud of." With that, they send their children forth to find mates.

A few months later the first daughter returns. "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my fiance, Peter Potato. Peter's from Idaho."

"Idaho! Wonderful! Welcome to the family, Peter."

A few months after that the second daughter comes home. "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my fiance, Paul Potato. Paul is from Maine."

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Pt. 2: "Maine! Well, delighted to meet you, Paul." A few months after that, the third daughter walks in. "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my fiance, Tom Brokaw."

"Um...would you excuse us for a moment, Tom?"

The parents take the third daughter aside and tell her that they do not approve of this match and will cut her out of the will if she goes through with it.

"But Mom! Dad! I thought you'd be thrilled! What's the matter with Tom Brokaw?"

"Don't you understand? He's a common tater!"

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@ki4rxm: You mean making people ask for crap #2 wasn't a well thought out plan? Well... crap.

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@thumperchick: What I will say is that the format of the choice assisted me in making said choice. Bag of #1 > Bag of #2, if a bag is to be had. :-P

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awesome!! another BOC I won't win!!!

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@ki4rxm: I'll have a bag of #2... lit on fire & on my neighbors porch.

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wait, people refuse to accept free crap..what's wrong with these kids today

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What do you call someone who predicts something so stupid and
impossible that the whole world knows it'll never ever happen?
Nostradumbass.

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Heard on the radio this morning.....A reported walks up to Bill Clinton and asks him how Hillary's head was, Bill replies "Not bad but Monica's was better."

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Two engineering students were walking across campus when one
said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer
replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business
when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to
the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." "
The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn't have fit."

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Here's my entry. You know why the first monkey fell out of the tree, because it was dead. But the second monkey fell out of the adjacent tree because it was tied to the dead monkey

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Three statisticians go hunting.
When they see a rabbit, the first one shoots, missing it on the left.
The second one shoots and misses it on the right.
The third one shouts: "We've hit it!"

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Hmmm, I'll have to think on this.
1. I do NOT need more crap.
2. I keep coming here looking for more crap.
3. What is wrong with me?

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@okham: Thanks! I had to share that with a couple of students that I know.

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Manti and his girlfriend walk into a bar........oh wait.....

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I pilfered this from a Gauley River rafting guide years ago -
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel between his legs, the bartender looks at him and says "You have a steering wheel in your crotch!" The pirate replied "Aarrrrgg! And it's drivin' me nuts!!"

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@theoneill555: I wish I could say that it wasn't at least partially true. The most unbelievable part to me was that an engineer could interact with a naked woman without without stuttering and drooling (sadly, self included :)

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@eraten: The problem is that early posters have a big upvote advantage over latecomers.

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@sellbuyer92: This is how I heard it:
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
It was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Peer pressure.

This is probably my favorite joke:

Heaven and Hell

Heaven Is Where:

The French are the chefs
The Italians are the lovers
The British are the police
The Germans are the mechanics
And the Swiss make everything run on time

Hell is Where:

The British are the chefs
The Swiss are the lovers
The French are the mechanics
The Italians make everything run on time
And the Germans are the police

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@ki4rxm: If 1 and 2 causes immature people to comment as 1 is the potty and 2 is the poopy where do you thing we will the 2 comes from from an A. One could also say it comes from the B.
Something funny....

The classic http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWwVnk9qwIg

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Something, make me laugh, whatever you feel like.

I'm a very literal person.

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If I get the boc my expression would be a lot like this one... First I would lose my nut then run to the package!

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It's all fun and games until the cops come....

....Then it's hide and seek!

LOL! Just saw that tonight and had to laugh!

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I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium got together and I was like OMg! :o

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Life is the pursuit of perfection, knowing that you will never achieve it.

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Oops, I did it again
I lip-synced my song
Without any shame
Oh baby baby
Oops, you think I can sing
But there's just one thing....
I'm not that talented

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@capguncowboy: You're the winner! Congrats! Shoot me a PM with where you'd like me to send your crap