questionsdoes it annoy you when couples do this, or is it…

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women! am i right fellas? :P

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Sounds like someone is trying to make things seem better than they were.

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If everything you've said is accurate then the entire situation bothers me. I don't have any friends who cheat around like that, at least that I know of, but yes that would bother me quite a bit. Maybe that kind of stuff happens more commonly on a high school level, or at least on a Jersey Shore social level? I wouldn't know of any social circles outside of that which would accept that behavior as normal, and still remain friends with each other.

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Sounds like everyone involved with that is ok with it though, so I don't know.

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More proof that Twitter is an outstanding example of the cesspool of terrible ideas spawned by the human race. My understanding is that the first tweet went something like this: "Hey ya'll, watch this" (my apologies Mr. Foxworthy)

To answer the original question: Yes, I dislike it when couples do that. I dislike it even more when someone like that, who cannot sustain a relationship, feels compelled to offer unsolicited relationship/marriage advice.

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I just refuse to know people like that. They're just not worth my time.

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If the guy has no problem with the girl saying they've been together four years then let it go.

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I have to admit this annoys me as well. Or people who are dating pretend that they are married. Your either married or your not. You either made that commitment or didn’t. But don’t discount the commitment I made to my marriage by pretending your open relationship that your afraid to commit to with marriage is the same as what I have its not .....

I know a bunch of people might eat me up for this one and I guess I have pretty traditional view on marriage but the whole its the same thing to me just gets under my skin

As a side note you dont want to get married I dont care thats your deal and Im not angry at you for that I'm just angry when you say its the same thing is all

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So I'm not the only one! And at least this isn't normal; that's a relief.

@eraten: Yeah, I'm friends with her, but not in her circle. But the people who are do remind me of that Jersey Shore type, unfortunately. They're all between 19-23, but remind me of high school kids. Sometimes I wonder if it's because they all went to school together and all still hang around together partying...

@theslt: That drives me up the WALL! It's like, I may not exactly know what I'm doing, but I KNOW you're doing it wrong, so I'll skip the advice, thanks. lol

@zuiquan: I was already her friend before this happened. I'm not going to trash a friendship over it, though I don't plan on being besties, either, lol.

@djbowman: I agree, if you haven't gotten married, he's not your husband and she's not your wife.

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I try to stay out of other's drama. When they try to involve me in their tangled web, or make me have to choose between which one of the couple I'm still going to be friends with...that's where I get annoyed and draw the line.

A true friend or even a good friend won't involve you in drama like that, sure emergencies, and real life problems when they need a shoulder for support, that's what good friends are for.

I do know a couple like you mentioned, but they keep those problems to themselves and I don't ask...

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@kllangellier: I could only imagine the conversation one day the couple says they have been together for x years or whatever and someone not knowing they are like this remembers seeing her with another guy and getting all stressed out about telling the guy that she was cheating on him ....

That could be akward

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I'm trying to figure out why a guy (or guys, as it seems she is playing both of them) would put up with this. The only answers I can come up with are:
1) They are not interested in any kind of serious relationship, just looking for good times (aka, casual sex). In that case, why not? Great when here, don't worry about it when it isn't.

2) They are completely brain dead.

About even money either way.

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@wilfbrim: so this is where "it's complicated" came from!

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i know this is sooo not cool of me to respond this way, and i suspect i'm destined for the "it was on social media" argument, but here is something that is true:

it's not really anybody's bidness.
if she and the original guy have decided that they wanna call it monogamy, well...i guess they have a different definition than mine.

hey. ain't all black & white.

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@wilfbrim: People change. They grow up, they learn new things about themselves, they discover new things that they like, they grow out of things they used to like. They learn to express themselves better and how to listen better. Sometimes they discover that while they thought they could do better, they really couldn't.

Then you turn 30 and all that change just stops and you're locked into whoever you are for the rest of your life.

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@elforman:
Then you turn 30 and all that change just stops and you're locked into whoever you are for the rest of your life.

well, crap.

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It sounds like these people pretty much deserve each other.

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@drsilentg: Oh Ya!!! Been there, don't up with that...

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Yes, it irritates me and makes me feel like they are not someone I want to associate with. Their behavior is not only unethical it's slimy. Yuk. Stay away!

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I'll go with "meh". Someone who is delusional about something as simple as time wouldn't be in my circle of friends I guess.

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I think I am an idiot for even reading and responding to it.

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@morriea: I'm with you on this one. You're either together or not. I think in my day she would be classified as a "slut". But that was 30 years ago, so what do I know?

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I left junior high decades ago, sorry, can't relate.

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@wilfbrim: That's probably it, she says 'serious' but maybe her definition of serious is not mine or others's definition. I just wish they'd grow up and get it together before someone gets hurt. sigh

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i think the best time to call them out on it is at their engagement party... or maybe a funeral.. :D

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@jsimsace: Not sure if you are calling her a slut here, but I don't think it's appropriate, regardless of the actions we've heard about. Perhaps she is not together, but I don't think "slut" is the right word.

Slut Shaming

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Tell Sybil to drop them both.

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Please don't call her a "slut". The more appropriate term is "slut-like".

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I say stay out of it and let her be dumb. It will come back to bite her one day. Sounds like she just refuses to be alone.

I would never put up with that. My GF told me when we started dating that she had someone that she was on/off with. I sat her down and told her to make up her mind as to what she wants. I'm not going to put my time and effort into this just so you can go back to him when you feel like it. I'm not a placeholder and not going to be used like one.
It brought us so much closer together.

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I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention. Would you repeat the question please?

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and these morons are allowed to vote, aren't they...?