questionswould you sabotage your own stuff to teach…


I never saw that as the right way to approach such situations. Two wrongs don't make a right, y'know.

Have you considered pouring out your cup into a clear glass to show your wife why she should wait?


Instead of doing that, just adjust the amount of coffee that you use to brew the pot so that your cup is at a strength you prefer. Her's will be like gasoline. She'll learn quick. And a few extra scoops of coffee is cheaper than replacing parts of the coffee machine.


Divorce is the first and best option to take here. If for some reason it's not feasible, it would make more sense to buy a second coffee maker than to damage or destroy the one you have. Get one of those k cup machines or whatever they're called for individual cups.


Hahaha! Divorce is a bit extreme, but I won't rule it out, yet.

On the, well, let's call it "adjustment", it would only prevent someone from removing the pot before it's finished brewing, it would not "ruin" the machine. Simple fix to the problem, and I don't like K-cup coffee. Doesn't taste right, to me. I also don't like the horrible amount of waste they create, with plastic encasing the grounds. But that's another thread for another day...


No, I wouldn't. I'd just take a page from her book and get my coffee before she got hers.

Let her drink the weak stuff a couple of times, see if she likes it.


An alternative to dcalotta's suggestion is to use just a pinch of coffee grounds to make your pot. When she asks what's wrong with the coffee, you can explain that's what she leaves you with when she doesn't let it finish.


@drjing: You should be careful about that sort of juvenile behavior. She knows where you live, and you have to sleep sometime.

OTOH, if you were my spouse and pulled that trick, you'll likely find the rest of the pot dumped in your lap. If you're touchy about your coffee, get a brewer, just for yourself.


Go for it. I'd sabotage the pot in a heartbeat. Shrdlu == coffee fanatic. Since you don't want to divorce her, and murder is also apparently out, that solution's next. However...

That problem (someone stealing a cup, and ruining the pot) has been around since there have been drip coffee makers. It used to be, at work, that there'd always be one joker that would pull out the pot, put in his cup, wait for his cup to fill, and stick the pot back in. I solved that one by bringing in my own pot (and I've had my own pot to make coffee, at work, most of my working life).

While I personally would consider killing anyone who would mess with my coffee in the morning to be justifiable homicide, I'm thinking that there's a larger passive-aggressive issue that you need to address. As I see it, you can do two things:

Don't start the pot until you are ready to stand in front of it, and then do so.
Hide all the cups so that she has nothing to pour it into.

I don't like your wife very much. :-(


To the question, no because I would just have to fix it later.

I will chime in though if this is not a new coffee pot, but it is a new problem, then this really isn't the problem and there's something else going on (which probably has nothing to do with you) like @shrdlu says.


If it's the first pot in the morning, you could set it on a timer to start well before you expect to get up, so the pot will be finished brewing before she takes her first cup.

That, or get another coffeemaker and call it your own.


Or you could generously offer to bring coffee to her in the morning so that she may sleep a couple of minutes longer.

If there is an underlying issue like, say, she's feeling you are keeping her away from something that she values (so she deprives you of your precious coffee) then perhaps doing the unexpected will help to uncover what that is.

And if that doesn't work...get her the K-cup maker and use reusable filters.


Buy some kopi luwak and put it in your coffeemaker. Wait until your wife starts drinking her hijacked cup of illicit brew, then tell her what she's drinking. Problem solved.


@shrdlu: Excellent response!

My main problem is that I rely on her making coffee, as I am typically on early morning meetings and don't get to the pot until an hour or so after it's brewed.

I'll try reasoning with her, again, but sabotage/et al are not out of the question, yet...


Buy your own coffee maker and set it to auto brew. Problem solved.


@drjing: what a conundrum. you are drinking cold, stale, weak coffee. no wonder you are cranky and want to 1. murder 2. divorce 3. scald her body parts with steamy coffee -in that order

if you're getting to the coffee an hour or so after it's brewed, then ask her to only make enough for her because you'd like to start making your own fresh potent coffee from now on
if she still makes extra, dump it out and make your new batch just for you


@w00tgurl: A capital solution! Instead of whining about the situation, make my own d@xxed coffee! :-)

So far, though, no one has confessed to personal mischief... I can't be the ONLY one with these thoughts! Can I...?


@drjing: I thought I was fairly clear that your solution would only annoy the first time out, and then would just result in the cup of coffee still being pulled. What you propose doesn't work; it'll just inconvenience you. I can absolutely guarantee you that she would not have done that more than once in my house, but then, I can be, oh, somewhat intimidating, especially if someone messes with my coffee in the morning.

I have references for this. Coffee is important.

Don't be sneaky, be in charge. I'd say more, but a) I'd be edited, and b) it's not my style (mostly).