questionscan i still be upset about not recieving a…

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Then I got to thinking about it: I've not heard of any traumatic events in this girls life, nothing bad has happened to her etc.. This leads me to believe her money situation was likely in place before she decided to get in the exchange. To me, if I knew that I couldn't afford to spend money on a gift for someone else, I would have to decline to participate in a gift exchange. All this being said, I don't do the exchange to acquire things, I do it for fun. But this really took all the fun out of it for me. So I ask: Can I still be upset about not receiving a Christmas gift? Or am I being a big baby about and I should just let it go? I'm really sorry this was so wordy...

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I'd let it go. But next year, give her coal.

It would irritate me, too, especially since she couldn't be bothered to be honest and tell you herself.

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@okham: send her a letter on fake letterhead from a fictitious law firm, saying that she will be sued for breach of contract. Make sure you send it around march 28th so it arrives on april fools day.

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I understand being frustrated by it, but let it go. She was probably very embarrassed by the whole thing herself.
If you were going to mention it - it should've been a few months ago.

Hope whoever pulls your name next year hooks you up! (If it's her, I hope she gets you two gifts!)

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Definitely let it go. You really never know what is up in people's lives. This fall, my husband and I both got laid off at the same time. We never expected something like that and we really downplayed it to family and friends - you really don't need to get a bunch of those Hallmark cards that say "sorry you lost your job".
They could be struggling with debt that you don't know about, or tuition, or maybe they bailed out a friend who was in financial trouble. A parent who needs expensive medical treatment?
Give them the benefit of the doubt, be glad you aren't in the same boat - whatever it is- and just keep looking forward. And better luck with the gift exchange next year - you are right that it is just a fun thing, so keep it fun!

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If I might add to this, my wife's brother and this girl just got married the other day. This is good news except that they live on the other side of the country, and they didn't tell us when they were getting married until about a week ago, leaving no time for my wife to find a ticket and plan days off if she wanted to(which she very much did). Add to that, many months ago my wife specifically asked her brother to please hold off on having a wedding until she could be there, after all, we planned our wedding around when he could be in town.

I can and will drop the gift thing, but now I'm upset because they made my wife cry(she's not a crier) and I don't like it when she cries.

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@stupimlico: Understandable. They should've spoken to your wife about the wedding. That sucks.