questionsannouncing pregnancy dilemma


I think you are very wise, but it sounds like there may be a bunch of hard feelings involved. Always side with your wife. :)

EDIT: Pardon my manners...congratulations!


Me I do not get 'it', the whole 'moment thing'. But I agree with @jsimsace: wives are show more empathy, better safe than sorry.


Won't hurt anything to wait a few days or a week. Let everyone have their own "moment." Emotions run high at these times. Better to agree with her on the little things!


Congrats, and I would give it a week.


I'd wait and announce it at Christmas. You can say it's a wonderful gift you and your wife are sharing with each other this Christmas.


@lavikinga is wise as well as beautiful, a Christmas announcement would be perfect. Congratulations!!!!


As for a more practical answer, I would suggest waiting until the 8 week mark (after your first doctor visit) to announce it.

There are so many complications that can arise simply from having a second child, it's what I would do.

Good luck and congratulations.


@curtisuxor: I fully agree. Best to wait until after the first trimester to make sure nothing bad arises. Congrats!


while i don't get the whole pregnancy competition thing, but i DO get that women get it... lol. (my sister and sister-in-law struggled with ruining the moment for the other... but it was less benevolent than your wife's decision.. they were arguing over who gets to tell first, ha!)

A christmas announcement would be great... and as a bonus, it would totally show up the cousin's announcement (if that's a consideration at all LOL)


I also vote for a holiday announcement. Then everyone gets their moment. If you haven't told your oldest child yet, you could wrap up a "baby sibling" for them to open in front of the family as your announcement. Or, just excitedly share you news. =)


Don't jinx it. Wait until the little wooter is delivered, then tell people you had it.


We'll see how tomorrow unfolds. I'd like to wait until 6 months in or so but I don't think she would buy that? It would be great to just say oh by the way having a child in a few months!


Yep, as said, wait a week and announce your great news. But, I would make sure to announce it with a "joint" excitement. Kind of a "we too" thing. It will go a long way to say something like "we are lucky to be announcing that we too ..."


It may also be a good idea for your wife to tell her cousin first, before she announces it to the rest of the family. Give her a heads-up so she doesn't feel like you wife is "ruining" her moment, or anything like that. Instead, it could make them closer, and they can share the pregnancy experience. Not to mention your kids could be great play-friends.


It seems a bit negative to go into it thinking you should delay it to show up the cousin. I think it's best to announce your child, but also give recognition to the cousin's pregnancy and celebrate them together! Everyone gets some spotlight, and no one is hurt or overshadowed. Everyone is important in this situation, and so are everyone's feelings. If you two can be people who celebrate the whole family, everyone will benefit. Cousin can feel good, and people will recognize that you're two outstanding and caring people as well. :) I think it will increase the positive feelings amongst the whole family if it is a group celebration.

Perhaps talk about what a wonderful gift it is that there are two children on their way into your lives this next year!


Let her do what she wants.
I think it's kind of petty to feel that way just because someone else got pregnant same time as you, but that's just me. Especially a family member.
I think they should both get together and do baby stuff together. It's a blessing for both groups and should be treated that way. Not a contest.


@curtisuxor: As someone who's wife had 3 miscarriages for baby #2 in the first trimester (and who is now 6 months into a healthy #2) do what is best for your family. We announced each one almost as soon as we knew she was pregnant. This gave us a support structure when the worse did happen. I can't imagine waiting the 8 weeks and having something happen then either having to hide the depression and going on like nothing was wrong, or worse while you're grieving having to explain first that you were pregnant and that you lost it over and over whenever anyone asks what is wrong.


@cybercowboy: and since I put that bummer of a post up Congrats to the OP. Let your wife choose the moment that feels right for her, and try to find a special way to make the announcement.


Congrats! As long as the cousin didn't know that an announcement and intentionally preempt you and your wife, I'd say let it be for a couple of weeks.

At least your cousin didn't decide he was going to get married the weekend before you, knowing full well when your wedding is going to be, forcing all the travelling family to either hang out for a week, travel twice, or make a choice! (Yeah, I'm still angry about that. Gr.)


I'm seeing lots of baby announcements lately. It seems a popular time of year for it! Go with whatever your wife is most comfortable with. You're celebrating your own joy, not stealing it from others, and anyone who can't understand that needs a big box of maturity for Christmas.

My favorite announcement so far (also a second baby) was a friend's Christmas hearth picture, with stockings. Below it said: four stockings are hung by the chimney with care this June we will have a new baby to share!

Congratulations to you!


Thanks everyone, my wife and I enjoyed all the kind words and suggestions.


@dpn0121: Don't leave us hanging, what did you decide?


@cybercowboy: I photoshopped an image for my wife to do the really public announcement she wants to do for all her friends. It's an oven with a bun in it and the date on the timer.

She told her close family today and I let my dad know as well. Her cousin and her are planning a joint party to celebrate. Her cousin and us (we, both of us, um whats the right word?) both live in VA and our families all live on the North coast. It will be good to get together.


Congrats on the coming new baby.

I must say I just don't understand why people feel like they need the spotlight or are afraid of sharing someone else' spotlight with good news like a pregnancy, engagement, etc. So what if someone else is having a baby at the same time or got engaged or married at the same time. It doesn't make your news any less special.

Are people so insecure and petty that they can't share the spotlight and celebrate life's joys without jealousy or spite?

Good news is good news. Period. Spread your good news when you want to.
If your wife's cousin gets bent over it, your wife's cousin needs to grow up.