questionswhat is the most boring or ridiculous training…

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Radiation safety. I fell asleep after "don't drink the tritium."

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My first job out of college sent us to an all-day training at a hotel across the highway to become "Totally Customer Focused". We got pens, pencils, buttons, notepads, etc. and a whole slew of sessions like "who are our customers", "how do we focus on the customer", etc.

I'm not quite sure what the point was, but it seemed to be "we should listen to what the customer's needs are and meet them". That took an all-day training seminar to comprehend??

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Fish, the Pike Street Market method. It's all about customer service, and we are an internal department. We did all kinds of dumb stuff, including putting up mirrors so we could "check our attitude at the door", a metal board with happy magnetic words where we could make peppy phrases, and chose fish names. Mine was Megalodon. I still have a little stuffed shark hanging from my office nameplate. We were asked to put motivational quotes appending our emails. So I assembled about a hundred motivational quotes and just rotated through them. About six months after the whole Fish craze died down, I got reprimanded for having a poem by Marianne Williamson on my tagline because it mentions God. Mind you, I am not religious, I just find the poem very powerful. And I had suffered through innumerable proselytizing emails from a very religious co-worker not a year before. Bureaucrats!
Poem: http://skdesigns.com/internet/articles/quotes/williamson/our_deepest_fear/

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I was working as a Service Writer at a local forklift dealership. I had 39 male technicians and no females worked in my department except me. This wasn't my first job surrounded by men. The secretary took me in to the office for training. She was an older southern women with that soft voice. She said, in that voice, " Now we need to talk about ...sexual harrassent." I just looked her trying not to laugh, and said, "Well, where do I sign up for that?"

While I do take sexual harrassment seriously, when you work with nothing but men, you learn that words are words, and how you hear them was NOT how they meant it. It does happen, and there is no excuse for it, but the majority would never do that.

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I was on active duty with the Air Force and I'd peg it to two incidents in the early to mid 90s.

One was sensitivity training...just why did we need that?

The other was learning to run the Air Force as a business was run - FAIL! The US military is designed to break things and kill people, any other use constitutes a waste of tax payer money.

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I work for the government.. (and was ARMY before that).. almost all the training is boring.. "Death by PowerPoint"...

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I’m a government worker employed by the Army. So what training did your tax dollars pay for that was boring or ridiculous training? OK, you asked; the winner is; Human Trafficking. Yes the government feels that we have to be told that human Trafficking is wrong :-)

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It wasn't training, per se, but day after day of presentations by software vendors pitching their HR/Payroll products. Loooooong days. Dark, overheated rooms. Droning lecturers. Heavy lunches. Argh!

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Last summer I attended an 8 week training course. I'm not sure that I remember anything from that course now. Basically it was an 8 week party in Houston.

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Sexual Harassment Training- There is nothing funnier than watching a film about not offending employees sexually, especially when the actors in the film are sexually harassing each other. Everyone just laughs and the "big-wigs" scold us.

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My employers made everyone watch a training video. It was called Why Are You Making It So Hard (for me to give you my money)?

It was made to look like the world's crappiest gameshow, with WAYMISH used as a sort of catch phrase. Every time someone (always in retail settings) screwed up, the 'host' would say "classic WAYMISH moment!." Basically it was about having good customer service, so it's easier for customers to get the product or service they want, and be happy to buy or pay for it.

The kicker? The company I work for isn't retail, it's airport parking. I drive a bus. It was the least applicable training video that anyone could possibly have chosen. It's only indirectly applicable to cashiers, and not even remotely so for drivers like myself.

Even management thought it was pointless (and they were forced to watch too). We had to come in on our day off for it. It should come as no surprise that it was a corporate decision.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8aJZuUhMDg

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Sitting me in front of a VCR and handing me a stack of VHS :)

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How to ergonomically use desk equiptment, like a STAPLER!

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oh boy the answers i have!
the funniest: working on computer based learning system (CBLS)-the third one was on how to work the cbls system.(you had to be psycic to do the first two)

the stupidest: working in food prep-no cashregister near the department, or expected for us to use- the video on how to identify if someone is old enough to purchase tobacco or alcohol.

the weirdest: how to clean up a lead-acid battery spill (in the food areas?-they didn't like when i asked why we would have any battery anything in the bakery)

the repeatativest: how to fold a towel to fill a shelf.

the grossest: how to identify the kind of bug/rodent you saw for the infestation logs.

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osha approved course on White-out cleanups....honest

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A two hour video of a video of a conference call, explaining how vpn works, by someone trying to explain a roll out for the replacement software.
All pretty much monotone, so out was even easier!

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@benyust2 and I have both been to some boring ones, since we're both CPAs... I'm sure he can attest to the nails-across-a-chalkboard annual accounting & auditing updates (8 hours+) or the half day technical topic seminars. Not sure where he practices, but in NJ every 3 years we have to go to a 4 hour ethics update. I actually took the course 3 times in like a year - once because my old firm required it, once after I got my license (requirement to take the course after you are licensed, regardless of when you last took it), and once at my new firm because they sponsored a session. That was fun.

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Training on how to avoid a slip and fall. And there was a written test after.

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@dcalotta: Yep! I have only had to do the ethics CPE as part of the CPA exam. I've only been a CPA for 3 years or so and I didn't need the ethics for my first renewal. I'll need it again soon though. Those annual tax updates are brutal. But, the 2 day class on Single Audits (an audit of a specific program of a nonprofit who spends a certain amount of government funds) was probably the worst. I do self-study if at all possible. I think the worst moment was a during a tax update when the speakers invited an IRS agent to speak. After she talked for a half hour about a new IRS rule, the regular speaker got up, said he had just called the IRS and everything she said was wrong. I felt I was owed that 30 minutes back.

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I was active duty Navy. They sent me from Hawaii to California for a 3 day training course on a system my ship didn't even have. "Well we might get it one day." 2 1/2 years later, I left the ship and still no system.

Some might see this as a 3 day all expense paid vacation. I saw it as 3 extra days separated from my newly wed wife.

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Worked as a number cruncher for an aircraft company doing rehab on military jets. Tripped and fell on some stairs one day (nothing hurt but my pride) but they had to file an incident report.

The next day I was given the additional duties of "safety coordinator".

I was required to attend a number of lame safety courses that all had written exams. We had to pass the written tests or re-take the course until we did. They claimed flunking would be reflected in your performance eval. The worst was the 2 day hazmat training course. Like I'd be on anyone's speed-dial in case of a chemical spill.

The fire safety training made up for it. Got to spend a 1/2 day on the flight line putting out real fires with a fire extinguisher. (Imagine a 2'x4' shallow metal pan with 1/2" of flaming jet fuel). It was much tougher than I'd thought it'd be.

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@mtm2: Did 20 in the Navy, retired last year. I literally cannot count the number of moronic required training sessions I put up with over that time.

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Required training course on basic computer skills aimed at new users of word processors, basic data bases, etc. In tried-and-true Department of Defense style, any required course is required for everyone, including the IT department and several people with degrees in computer science and systems analysis.

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Safety training for DuPont. Sat in hard plastic chairs watching VHS tapes from the 70s (this was 2007) for 2 hours telling me not to drink the experimental chemicals and to look both ways before crossing the street.

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@wilfbrim: Right there with you...I just note two that stood out over all the others.

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@benyust2: I've avoided non-profit audits thusfar, thankfully! At my last tax update, they brought in an IRS Special Agent from the criminal enforcement division. His talk was really interesting, because it wasn't about how to properly reply to CP2000s or something. He spoke in conjunction with tax/criminal tax attorneys, it was pretty cool.

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@mtm2: Ditto. I am coming up on 30 years in local government and mind-numbingly stupid trainings are a part of the endurance test for public service. I get a double whammy, as my department is funded through a Federal grant, so we get the benefit of both local and Federal idiocracy.

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@moondrake: I feel your pain. 33 years in state government. Accountability issues are taken so seriously that we spend a lot of time in mandatory training. To make it worse, Training is one of the areas under me so I am frequently the person to hear the gripes when we have to pass along and enforce a mandated training on blood borne pathogens (for desk jobs?), etc. When I do any of the training myself, I TRY to toss in some laughs to keep people awake. Right now I am arranging mandated Ethics training for all employees. This should be fun, especially since the mandate is coming down from an administration that doesn't even know how to SPELL ethics!

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Sexual harassment (it's bad...okay?) Which was just videos from the era of "that's sexual harassment, and I don't have to take it" commercials and some poorly proofread powerpoint slides (Basically, the internet is only to be used for work related maters, porn, and social networking are prohibited [yes, that's how the punctuation worked out])

Customer service (wait, I work security, and don't have "customers") I mean, we all know that when your job is to look through peoples crap, and tell them "No, you can't bring in [a box of knives/a gun/a pound of weed/a few 40's] to court" that making sure a yelling homeless man happy is your number one concern (I reciprocate the mood people give me, with understanding that they don't want to be there, but I will not be thanking people for calling me some rather unflattering names shared with classic WWII groups)

Each of these things lasted for a full 8 hours, and were done on paid holidays that would have been days off otherwise.