questionswhy do people always ask questions as if two…

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My husband calls them "Do you walk to school or take a lunch" questions.

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This question does not make you look fat, but it does pad your reputation

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This may be just the question I needed. Thanks.

A man once asked his Rabbi to explain the meaning of "Talmudic Reasoning."

The Rabbi replied: "Well, it's not too easy to explain, but I think I can demonstrate it to you and you will get the point. I will ask you a simple question and you give the answer. Are you ready?"

The man was ready, so the Rabbi continued: "Imagine that two men come out of a chimney, one is dirty, the other clean. Which one takes a bath?" The intrigued listener immediately replied: "That's easy, Rabbi. The dirty one takes the bath."

[Continued]

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[Continuation complete]

"Not so," said the Rabbi. "The Talmud would explain that when the men came out, the dirty one looked at the clean one and saw a clean face. Meanwhile the clean one looked at the dirty one and saw a dirty face."

A knowing look, complete with broad smile, flashed onto the man's face. The Rabbi continued, "Now tell me which one takes the bath?" The answer was quick and sure. "Now I get it Rabbi, the clean one takes the bath!"

The Rabbi looked just a bit unhappy, but he answered patiently, "No. You see, the Talmud would go on to ask: 'How could two men come out of a chimney and one be clean and the other dirty?"

[Stolen from the Interwebs]

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I love this question. However, I can't decide whether I should reply or eat some ice cream.

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....mmmmmmm ice cream won out.

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@mrsbeny: hey, i didn't get to vote. i would say icecream on a brownie.

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@moosezilla: It was a short-lived battle. You are so right, though.

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This reminds me of the joke where a man with a lazy eye was ogling a woman at a bar. She said "Do you have a lazy eye or are you just drunk?". He replied, "Yes ma'am.".

No offense intended here.

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@jsoko: V for Vendetta? http://deals.woot.com/questions/details/8dcb0120-71ce-4fb0-bbb0-178ebc545d59/how-do-you-tell-your-significant-other-that-their-gaining-too-much-weight#25

(I'm on your side @jsimace. My husband bought me workout clothes for mothers' day. Bad gift. I cried. That said, he never made me feel bad or unattractive, he just grew up with a dad and 2 brothers, and I was his first long-term relationship.)

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@mrsbeny: Looks about right. I wonder what I did...

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@jsoko: Ballas and shot-callas?
http://deals.woot.com/questions/details/0fc0afd2-deab-4a6e-8da0-f0fb50fc3e9a/is-it-really-all-about-the-benjamins#19

EDIT: UGH I can't ever do that imbedded hyperlink thing right. Deleting the parentheses.

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@mrsbeny: Ahh very nice... Hyperlink formula [ words ] ( site ) without the spaces

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Because many people live in a black-and-white world. My world has always been shades of gray. Which is sometimes frustrating, because every answer starts with "it depends".

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My answer is always "yes". It drives people crazy. But then, their question deserves that answer.

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What are you, dumb or just mentally handicapped?

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@woothulhu: What are you, trolling or just trying to get extra mod attention? ;)

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@inkycatz: I thought it was the perfect question :)