questionsdid you know there is such a thing as an amish…

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the idea behind amish romance novels is there is no "her heaving breast lightly brushed his face as his manhood made itself known".
it's about the romance, not the physical. and there have been heavy followings of this kind of romance for a long time.

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It's as out of left field as that wacky reality show "Amish Mafia."

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I always assumed the plot for Witness came from a book, but I never bothered to check.

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totally out in left field, but with my girlfriend hooked on Amish Mafia, I think these look like easter gifts!

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I was about to go all "Rule 34" on you, but I can't bring myself to google Amish porn. Some things are better left unseen.

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"I haven't heard of a paleolithic Romance, but I'm sure that is coming. "

How about Clan of the Cave Bear? ;-)

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Oh and as for paleolithic romance, who can forget http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Clan_of_the_Cave_Bear

Bah @OhCheri beat me to it

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Yep. Chaste, church-appropriate Amish romance story or actually-full-of-mad-passion-under-that-modest-exterior Amish romance story, there's an audience for it. Hells, if vague encounters with slash fiction and the like on the internets has taught me anything, it's that just like there's a fetish for pretty much everything, there's also an audience for a romance story about pretty much anything.

And, as far as Paleolithic romance goes, couldn't one say that the Clan of the Cave Bear series was pretty much just that? Especially those later books. I mean, teenage goldenthorn sure as hells thought of them that way. (Heh, edit that I see @ohcheri and @embhorn ninja-ed me on that!) Aww man, teenage goldenthorn loved filthy romance novels. Those were the days!

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"Oh Samuel! Your family has the largest plot of land in all of Pennsylvania!"

"Yes, Ruth. And yours has the nicest horses, and finest buggies! Let us marry!"

gasp "Samuel! Such talk! Thou knowest thou must discuss this with my father first!"

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The novel Warm Bodies on which the recent film was based is a zombie romance. The romantic lead is a zombie. I haven't read the book but I saw the film and found it to be fresh and fun. I've been relaxing with a lot of YA fiction lately, supernatural creatures (vampires, werewolves, witches, angels, etc) in love and adventure.

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@secretagentman02: Witness won awards for Best Original Screenplay, so it was not from a book.

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I don't think Amish Mafia is real Amish, but more like hired guns, so to speak.

Amish may not be big users of technology, but they do read & make the beast with two backs just as much as the next morally upright individual. Where else do you think little Rebeccas & Elis come from?

There's Pennsylvania Dutch print that hangs in my kitchen with this saying: Kissin' don't last. Good cookin' do. (BTW, I make a fabulous whoopie pie--wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

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@ohcheri: "Oog like pretty cave lady. Oog hit lady in head with rock. Pretty cave lady now have Oog babies. Pretty cave lady die during childbirth. Oog no care, Oog have more rocks for more cave ladies"

There, now you've seen the first paleolithic romance novel. give me money now please.

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Ha! I love seeing those books on the stands at Shady Maple in Lancaster, PA. They crack me up but I guess Amish girls need love too... albeit a very, very, very plain love.

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Are there chapters explicitly detailing when they touch knees?

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I record audiobooks and I had no idea these existed until I began working for ACX (which is owned by Amazon). Lots of sub-genres I didn't know about...

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@ohcheri: I'd call Clan of the Cave Bear more historical fiction, and less romance. Yes, there is a very blurry line between the two, but I those fall more on the regular fiction side.

Another thing I've learned is that there is a huge range of "explicitness" in romance novels. Crimson Romance even has a formal scale from "sensual" (kissing, I guess) to "behind closed doors" (maybe bordering on pr0n). Also, looking at the Crimson Romance front page I see that "sports romance" is a up and coming genere.

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@stile99, @dmaz: Y'all are confusing Amish with Quiverfull/ATI. Amish dating takes place in secret with the couple alone together. There are Sunday Night Sings attended only by unmarried teenagers; a boy offers to give a girl a ride home in his buggy. After a "first date," she'll invite him into her house and they'll hang out in the living room (her family asleep upstairs) until early dawn. If a couple is serious, they visit on Saturday nights after her family is asleep. Once the two of them have decided to marry, they inform their families, which is the first time that they'll acknowledge to their families they were courting.

Kissing, cuddling, and a fair amount of, um, "petting" are acceptable. Sex is supposed to wait until after marriage but babies born 6-7 months after marriage are common.

Various orders of Amish have slightly different customs. The most conservative Amish practice "bed dating" where a couple (starting from the first date) sleep in the same bed together!

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@neuropsychosocial: "Bed Dating" don't sound too conservative no way, no how! lol

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@neuropsychosocial: Considering I neither know nor care what "Quiverfull/ATI" is/are, I doubt I am confusing anything for it/them. It's called a joke.

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Any response from the Amish section here?
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Didn't think so. ;)