questionswhat radical decisions have turned out well for…


Hey, this is my schtick! ;)

I've discovered that a lot of my "safe" choices over the years are considered radical by much of society today. Got married, then had kids (I have kids I mentor that ask me about my girlfriend and don't understand why I'm married.) Don't have any credit cards. Don't buy new cars. Limit what my children watch and listen to.

There's a bunch of other things that a very different segment of society would consider radical: I'm not afraid of people that others are afraid of and I'm not afraid to go into places that are considered dangerous. This doesn't mean I don't think that prudence should be thrown out of the window, I just don't live in fear of those things. I often stand up for what is right and good, even if it means I'm hurt. Two years ago I stood up for what was right where I worked and almost lost my job and would have lost my house, but my wife and I were okay with that. I could go on, but the character limit is taunting me.


Oh, this is another nice one. I've made a ton of on the spot, radical, in some cases probably ill advised, decisions. Have they turned out well? It's hard to say, since there's no way to tell what would have happened if I'd chosen the other path.

My most recent big one was made when I retired. I sold my house, packed up everything I owned, and moved to a different place that I hadn't been to since I was 8 or 9 years old. I knew no one here. No relatives. No friends. Nothing.

It's been pretty good. I don't regret it at all. I have a nice house, a beautiful yard, and seasons. I really love Spring...and Autumn too. I have friends here.

I do miss some of the intellectual challenges I had in SoCal. It was a rich environment, and there were things to do that I miss doing (such as the LA Museum of Art, and Griffith Park), but I don't miss the traffic, or the crowds. I miss shopping, but it's a good thing to miss.


I've stood by the right thing at work, more than once, and it may have held me back. On the other hand, I had respect because of it, and it may have helped me in the long term. Who can say?

I've lived my life (for the most part) by one of my favorite quotes from Shakespeare's Hamlet:

Polonius (to his son, Laertes):

"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man."

My daddy used to say that he wanted to be able to look himself in the eye, in the mirror every morning, when he shaved. I'm relieved not to have to shave, but I still follow that precept too. I've done a few things I'm not proud of, but the only thing to do after that is to try and fix it, and move on.


I think your "protest" is admirable. Imitation=flattery.


I apologize for starting this thread then neglecting it. Sudden family transportation snafu ate yesterday whole.

I thought of this q after the mentoring question. I took on some people who didn't work out, and some who are maybe's, and some if have done v well. In each case the person had serious emotional issues. The ones who succeeded were able to be brutally honest w themselves about their own habits and consequences, and about the way the world works, then then enforce self-discipline. The ones who have not yet done well deceive themselves and make poor decisions. Thisnis also true in my history. Cont....


When I have lived too much by carefree fantasy: e.g. follow your Muse, things will work out, they didn't. Nothing wrong with muse following, but one must also plan for the future...ESP now that it's harder and harder to change careers.


My younger brother and his wife took in 2 kids from v bad families, similar to "The Blind Side". He met them coaching elementary school basketball, and each of them lived with his family during high school. Both of them are great as adults, one a professional athlete, one has a business. They are both full members of the family, same as his kids. Of course they both might have been fine if he'd never met them, but it's been a blessing for all. My bro is v good at giving what people need instead of wish fulfillment. His friends thought he was taking a great risk, but now some of them have done likewise.