questionscan i come stay at your house for christmas?


You're welcome to come stay at my house, I'm never home, have a few extra bedrooms, and don't even have any pets at the moment to disturb you! :) Seriously though, I feel for you.

I'm fortunate enough (I guess it depends on how you look at it though) that all of my family lives close, within a 1 mile to 30 mile radius. That's aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, cousins, really everyone. The DH's family all lives close too, except for 2 aunts, but when they come in from out of town, they usually stay at the local Hampton Inn as they want their privacy. Good luck though!!

Edit - That's sad, I forgot about my own sister who lives in SC with my nephew, but they don't come up for the holiday, which is why I forgot them!! Still love them though :)


If your bad work day was due to your Christmas bonus being substitued for a membership to the Jelly of the Month Club, you'd have the makings for a instant Christmas Classic!


Anyway that you can get your husband to back you up when you claim contagion in the household? You could go with something as boring as influenza: the U.S. is having a very early season, and it is widespread:

Beyond that, I do have extra room here, and this year it will be just me and Agent Smith the Himalyan.


Well. it's not exactly truthful but, you could simply tell them that ya'll were going away for a few days before the rush of Christmas, then simply stay home and do something fun. We they arrive you simply say that after you planned the trip, it just wasn't feasible to go so you stayed home and made the best of it by doing something fun, and you didn't want to bother them with having to change their plans again.


@eraten: Actually, after several weeks of that kind of workday, instead of a Christmas bonus I am getting a couple extra days off at Christmas . . . which I can now spend with the inlaws! I'd rather have the jelly.

We are going to talk to them, and it will probably be as simple as saying we have plans for Christmas. Which we do -- we plan to sit around in our pjs all day long and not have any regular meals! They're welcome to come up for New Year's if they want.


@jjkehoe: That's probably your best bet. It's truthful and might even help them to realize that they should check with you/ask if they can come, rather than just assume that it's okay to show up.


Drop them an email and say you'll be happy to make reservations for them at any of the local hotels of their choosing as you are: 1.) re-doing &painting the guest room on the only few days off you'll have for the next few months, or 2.) You are heading out yourselves to visit friends, or 3.) Husband needs to steel his spine and say since you all were able to be together for a family Thanksgiving just a few weeks ago, you both have made other plans for the holiday THAT YOU CAN NOT GET OUT OF.


I live nowhere near any family members whatsoever. My brother and grandparents are closest at 1000 miles away each, but in opposite directions. My parents are 1800 miles away. And the family is spread across both Canada and the US.

So this is the one and only time of year where I will actually see my parents and brother... and after about 2 days, I start looking at megabus tickets out of there. I love them and wish them happiness in their life, but I just can't stand to be around them.

I wish I could grow out of it, but I just can't. Every year I look forward to a vacation and seeing my family, then I spend the latter 70% of my vacation furious that I travelled 1000+ miles to be bored to death and teased by my family.

Don't mean to spread any holiday hate. I love them and I'm looking forward to seeing them next saturday, but this has become a pretty consistent experience.


Google search for "Babycenter DWIL" This will take you to the Dealing With the In-Laws and Family of Origin boards on babycenter (doesn't matter if you have or ever plan on having kids.) I would not suggest posting unless you've got your big girl panties on, but lurking and reading the advice given to others can be eye-opening.

It helped me. No one is crashing baby's first Christmas, or staying until justgetoutofmyhouseiwanttosleep o'clock when they do visit here. Immediate family and their (your) happiness comes first, and your immediate family is you, your husband, and children if you have them. You wouldn't let a stranger take that happiness from you, so accepting it from people because they're "faaaaaamily" is BS.


I have a love hate relationship with my relatives. I hate it when they come, I love it when they leave.

My max is 2 of 3 days until the lack of hot water, fresh towels and a place to sit becomes too much to deal with. Plus my father and other older relatives just sit and watch Fox News all day and all night. I can only take FN in very, very small doses.


I feel your pain. It's taking us some time to re-program people to not pop in unannounced, or explain that 5-6am breakfast on Christmas morning is a bad idea, even though it was done for years...

You wouldn't get any r & r time here. My pets require energy


I suppose you can stay here unless you arrive in an RV with a dog named Snots.


Actually, I may need someone from the 22nd to the 28th.


Ah, family! I feel your pain, I love mine, but do have a time limit for them as well. So far I've managed to survive. I just make sure I leave my dads early, then come home and hide away with my kitties!

I'd offer you a room here, but I'm not sure it will be available :/


Sure! Come on over. I don't have any pets but I do have plants. I'm not planning on going anywhere but I'm not here all that often anyway.

cf cf

Am I the only one who finds it incredibly rude/strange for family members to just invite themselves over for a week and expect you to be okay with this?

If my family comes over, they at best can assume that they can stay 2-3 nights, and even with that they make some token effort to actually ask if that'll be okay with me. They don't just send me an email pretty much demanding that I house them for a week.

My family isn't particularly close, so I really am curious whether this is the norm or not.


@purplefeather: When my family comes out, it's a given that they're staying here (unless it's all of them, in which case some get a hotel) and because it's a cross-country trip, they're here for at least a week. However, they don't just decide a date and tell me when to host them. They call and we hash out the best time.


Thanks for all the suggestions! I am pleased to report that my husband called them and suggested that perhaps after Christmas would be better, so they are now coming from the 26th through the 30th. I find that much more manageable. I am really looking forward to Christmas with just us and the kids.


@jjkehoe: Great news! Hope you have a perfect, quiet holiday. :-)