questionswhat are the best math jokes you know?


A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe
watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side
of the street.

First they see two people going into the house. Time passes.
After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.

The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate.".
The Biologists conclusion: "They have reproduced".
The Mathematician: "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it will be
empty again."


An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders one quarter beer. The fourth one starts to order, but the bartender interrupts "Here's two beers; you lot can figure the rest out yourself."

Also, you gotta love the classics:
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9!


Q:What do you get when you cross an elephant with a banana?

Elephant banana sine theta in a direction mutually perpendicular to the two
as determined by the right hand rule.

I would have never remembered that without this joke.


Why did the statistician drown in the river?

Because the river was 6-inch deep, on average.


Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil!


Why aren't jokes in base 8 funny?
Because 7 10 11!


An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have a beer please." and the second one says, "I'll have half of what he's having." The third one says, "I'll have a fourth of a beer." The fourth one says, "I'll have an eighth of a beer." The bartender says, "Oh, screw you all" and pulls out two beers.


To go along with it being Halloween soon:

Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!



Reminds me of this:

Who was the largest knight of Sir Arthur's round table?

Sir Cumfrence. He at the (d)Pi.


"the number you have dialed is imaginary. please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again."


More computer than math, but still...

There are 10 types of people in the world, those who know binary and those who don't.


Why do programmers confuse Halloween and Christmas?
Because (Oct)31 = (Dec)25


What did the acorn say when he grew up?

Gee, I'm a tree.


What does a math teacher do when he/she stubs a toe?



Not really a joke but my old chemistry professor had a poster that said "8 out of every 5 people are math illiterate."


A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender "how much for a beer", bartender says "for you, no charge".

Remember, don't drink and derive.


Introducing basic geometry to a rural adult ed class, the teacher acknowledges the student wildly waving his hand: "Yes Billy Bob, what is it?"

"Sorry ma'am, that there formula is just plain wrong. Any country boy could tell you that pie are not square, pie are round. Cornbread are square!"


@ginawoot: depends on how you cook your cornbread