questionshas anyone moved for love? how did it go?

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I have.. and it didn't work out. Stuck in the town until I save enough for a move back

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I did and I'm sorry to say that it didn't work out, too. But don't ask others about this, because we are not you. However if you must want an opinion, I say go with your heart and see what happens.

Would I do it again? Yes.

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Nope, never have, not sure what I would do in that circumstance. Good luck, hope it works out!!

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Yes and it turned out quite well.
The key is to want to be with that other person no matter where it might take you.
Are you ready to make being with this special person a priority in your life?

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Yes I did, and talk about a mistake of epic proportions! I moved from Utah, left a real good job to go back to California to be with a girl who had been my good friend (but involved) before I left. Well, we continued our friendship through letters (remember those?) and phone calls. About a year later she and her beau split and she let me know that she wanted to be more than friends (as did I), and I headed back to California.

Four days after I got back she was arrested for embezzling $60,000 dollars from her work. She ended up spending almost 3 years in jail, and no I didn't wait for her...

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Yes, but probably not in the way you mean. My now-wife had a job offer on the other side of the country. We were very serious at the time, and this was kind of an all-or-nothing deciding moment. In my head, a decision to uproot my life was an equivalent commitment of engagement; to decide against was essentially saying I had no real long-term faith in the relationship.

Long story short, the obvious choice for me was to propose, and move out to Seattle with her.

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I have never been so angry at another human being as I was (in retrospect) at my then-long-distance girlfriend...for accepting my marriage proposal when she didn't feel committed to me, but wasn't ready to let me out of her life. A year and about half a dozen ignored red flags later, I moved cross country to be with her, and we broke up three weeks after that. You think driving across Montana sucks? Try driving across it with all your worldly possessions in a U-Haul, nursing a bruised heart and a deep sense of humiliation.

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What's the number, like 50% of marriages end in divorce. Relationships in general have an even lower hit rate. So, are you willing to move there WITHOUT this person? Cause if not you might be better off thinking about it longer.

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Wife moved from DC to SF but it was kind of an easy decision. She grew up in N Cal, her family was a couple hours away (and she's very family oriented), and SF is way better than DC. She was planning on moving back anyway; I just moved up the time table.

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@prohobbyist: We need to be a little careful with that statistic. While it's true, if you delve into the statistics, you'll find that what's really driving those numbers are the baby boomer generation. They were only 10% of the divorce numbers in the late 90s, they are now about 25% of the divorces now.

These are divorces that probably would have happened back then but social and economic conditions probably made it more difficult, i.e. stigma of divorce and women working/earning ability.

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I quit a good job and moved several states away. Didn't know anyone there but the girl I moved for. Didn't have any family there either. As with several others who have already answered, it didn't work out.

And I wouldn't change a damn thing about it, ever. You know why? You know what's worse than not having it work out? Never having tried. Spending the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if...

Don't spend your life with regret. Go for it.

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Most depressing thread EVAR.

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I moved to Germany to marry my wife. 7.5 years and 2 kids later, it was the best decision I've ever made. She moved back to the US with me after she was done with her education, and, after the homesickness diminished, she's been pretty happy here.

We did know before the move that we were totally committed to each other, so that helped with the inevitable struggles that ensue.

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I moved from one coast to the other for my girlfriend, 6.5 years later we're still together. So it can work, but you need to consider a lot of things such as families whether or not you can be away from yours and with hers (and vice versa if it applies) and the city itself. As said above, make sure its a place you would be willing to live in without the other person. Above all else, don't hold the sacrifices made over the other person's head.

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I moved 1500 miles for love. It eventually ended in divorce, but that was after 14 years. And I like this part of the country a lot more than where I was before.

So I'd call that success even if the relationship didn't last forever.

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I have not, and would not unless the other party was also willing to move, as well. If they are not willing, then their love for you is not what it should be. Love has to be stronger than the economy, jobs, extended family, possessions, comforts, etc. Never take 2nd place to any of those things. However, since you have already made the decision, then go with a plan B in place just in case. I hope you don't need your plan B, though. Good luck!!

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I moved from Tennessee to Indiana to be with my now wife. I didn't know anyone here or even have the prospect for employment here before I moved, but it all worked out great and we have been married for 9 years now.

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I moved to Albuquerque from Baltimore with my ex-husband about a month after we met -- he had lived in NM previously and was only in Baltimore temporarily. We were together for 12 years and I love Albuquerque (though it took a lot of getting used to), so I would say it worked out well for me.

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@kophia: I asked myself that and I answered yes. It really was the biggest question that helped me make my decision.

@riknik: Luckily it is not such a big move as that. It is just 1 state away but I'm very close to my family and love the city I currently live in.

@bingo969: Thanks for that and I'm sure I would always wonder about it in the future.

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Yes. Horrible, horrible idea. Except for that whole part where I left her a few months later. Then lost my job and totalled a car. Then met a different girl who i fell in love with, married her, vaulted my career with her support ... happy ever after so far.

See where this is going? Best laid plans.

Listen to your heart and your head. No one knows how it will go.

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I moved from New York to Boston for love. That was almost a year ago, and I think it's going pretty well. You guys have seen my engagement story, yeah?
http://deals.woot.com/questions/details/68add7d8-da36-4a0e-a91a-60020dd3029d/well-im-engaged-now-what-please-read-all-posts#63

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Pinging @dmaz! :)

@abramokids, I hope that Light, her family, and you are coping as well as it is possible to cope with the loss of a beloved mother. Let us know when the shirt.woot gang should start sewing your chuppah! :)

Like others, I moved for a relationship that didn't work and (like others) I'm grateful for the opportunities and experiences that I had because I left home. At the same time, I regret what I gave up: seeing my friends' children grow up via flickr is not the same as being there.

Based on my experience and what went wrong, I'd advise anyone moving "for" a significant other (whether moving together for one person's job or one person moving to where the other one is) to be aware that many moves may be inherently unequal: one person has a support network or a wanted job and the other does not. Be patient with each other, be supportive, but most of all, simply be aware that it will likely be stressful (but differently stressful) and be purposeful in making it work.

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@prohobbyist: 50% end in divorce but the rest end in DEATH!

no1 no1
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I know someone who just moved 1500 miles to Texas for someone they knew for about a weekend. But she also hates everyone for no reason, so I would say she is not rational. So be rational about it.

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Yes. And would never do it again. Unless you are already very committed and/or married, but even that...

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I moved from Chicago to Spokane, Washington in January of 2011 for a girl (@Metaphore) I met online (World of Warcraft) and it's still going pretty awesomely. We got an apartment right away and I'll have to say it's by and far the most riskiest but ultimately, most rewarding decision I've made in my life. She turned out to be everything I liked and wanted in a woman.

I would of recommended you go visit once or twice first to see if you guys hit it off (not much of a choice however i see.) Sometimes mannerisms come off differently in person which could be good or bad. My awkward jokes seemed to play better in person, and her microphone didn't give her lovely voice much justice. I visited once before hand for Thanksgiving and It took us a day or two to get comfortable with each other. Watching the Labyrinth while cracking Bowie crotch jokes and light drinking helped. It gave me the courage to pack up and move a month later.

It's a big risk, but I say give it a shot and good luck! :)

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Yes, and it worked, but it wasn't one sided. He was in New England, I was in Jersey. He was looking for work closer to me, and landed a good job in DC. Once he had established himself there and saved some money we started looking for our place over weekend visits. So we both made the jump to move away from friends and family for each other. Now we're a family of four, happy in our first home.

I guess I should note that we started out as friends in our teenage years, and did the long distance thing for over a year before there was any mention of moving anywhere. The key here is not jumping into anything before both parties are sure it's worth it.

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I've done it. I moved across the state from a decent apartment to a much more expensive roach-infested apartment. I got to keep my job (telecommuting), and we did get married, but the financial cost of that move stuck with us for years.

If it's not a cheap move, and you end up together - just remember that she'll be helping you to pay for it in the long run. For us, it was worth it.

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Moved from CA to NY in January and it has been great. Granted, I'm originally from NY, so it has been good to be back for other reasons, too, but getting to spend so much time with my girl is awesome. We did the long distance thing for a long time, and once I moved out here it took a couple of months to get used to seeing each other so much (if that makes sense), but we have been really happy together and it's just getting better.

Too many people move for work and then try to find happiness wherever they end up. That's backwards. You have to live where you're happy and you'll figure out the details later.

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My DH moved from France to marry me. 3 weeks shy of 32 years later, we're doing just fine, thanks. :)

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I moved from England to Ohio a little over 5 years ago to be with my wife. 5 years later we're still together and as happy as ever, even when she's forcing me to answer questions on Woot instead of letting me play video games.

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@admancs: She sounds like a real keeper, in my personal, not at all biased opinion.

You should thank her by getting her some donuts.

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Thanks @neuropsychosocial hehe

I'm sorry to hear some of the rougher stories :( The more you invest the more it hurts when things fall thru.

I've been with my future wife for over a year now, we're gonna get married in November. At the beginning of June, I moved here to Brazil to meet her family, learn their language, and work for her Dad's company (I'm actually using my business degree for the first time since graduation, haha).

I can't tell you how much of an incredible, life-changing adventure it has been. Sure, there are the downs (there will usually be some level of stress that goes with changing culture, even between cities in the same country), but nothing compares to that feeling you get, when you wake up every morning, and realize that your life is filled with something new every day, cuz you stepped out! It's like the rush of being thrown by a really big wave. You don't really know what will be next, but you know you will face it, head on. Because that's who you are.

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@jezebelseven: Already bought her pizza today, she's spoiled. ;)

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It worked out for my husband and I, married over 4 years now. My mom moved for my dad and they are 27 years strong. However, I have had quite a few family members and friends who have moved or had someone move and probably 75% of the time it doesn't work out. They best advice I can give is to not rely on the person you are moving on. Get a job ASAP and try not to get into too many contracts (phone, leases) with them for awhile. Always have a plan B, that way if it goes bad, you can get out and not be stuck.

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@dmaz: What an amazing story! You are correct, there will always be some stress and problems, but it takes 2 people who want to make it work and love one another!

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I've never moved for love, but I quit vocational school and returned "home" for it. It didn't work out, but it helped make me who I am today. I'm content with that. In your case, a change of scenery may be all that it takes, along with your devotion, of course. Best wishes!

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@admancs: And you didn't get her DESSERT to go with it? Tsk, tsk.

(I love you and appreciate all the sacrifices you had to make moving here. I just really love donuts too, you know that.)

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My husband and I met when we were overseas. At the time I lived in D.C. and he in Cincinnati. The day after we got married, I moved to Cincinnati. Knew no one, although did manage to get a job with the same government agency I worked at in D.C. That was 43 years, two kids and six grandkids ago.

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Have a grand adventure : ) Did it, had some rough spots, especially when I couldn't find a job right away, but that led to discovering what I really love to do and people willing take chances with me. Twenty two years later, we're still a little surprised by how well where we wandered to suits us.

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I can't say that it's always been easy, but it was certainly worth it to make the move 37+ years ago.

My not-yet husband was on the east coast and I was on the west coast. He got a chance at a better job in the Midwest, and I joined him there. The move had two distinct advantages. The first benefit was that it got us away from family, since neither of our parents were thrilled with the relationship. After we started living together, they became more supportive in hopes we would get respectable (read: married). The second benefit was educational: having grown up in California I had a very provincial concept of the state's superiority. When we moved back to California after five years, I was able to clearly see that the gold had tarnished. I now appreciate that every place is the right place for someone. Our right place is The Land of Enchantment (Hi @erinaine), and we are glad to have found it together and raised our children here.

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@admancs: So I was logged in on your account on the laptop, I see, for that last one. My bad. You married an idiot.

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Put me in the "did it and regretted it" camp. This was an edge case, and the details are somewhat complicated and ultimately boring. I ended up picking a job fairly close to where this girl lived. In between when I had decided to move and actually moving she decided that she wanted to be with this other guy (that she had been seeing and not telling either of us).

Ultimately, this factor may have had little to do with the way the cards played out, but it was just pretty much of a kick in the teeth at a time when I really didn't need it.

This story does have an interesting post script. Nine years later I did end up moving to the same metro area that she lived in. I was killing some time (why, I can't remember) in a mall and heard a familiar voice somebody shout my name. From a distance I saw this girl looking at me. I turned and kept walking.

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I relocated for a relationship on 01 July 2012 and as of 25 August 2012 the relationship is over. I left my life in Oklahoma and moved to Florida in hopes of being in a lasting relationship but needless to say that's not how it turned out. He is the only person I know in this city but I will survive. I always wanted to live in Florida which of the positive from this whole disastrous experience. I will never relocate for another relationship unless I'm married.