questionsdo you need to vent about your family?

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@thunderthighs: There again, proving that that doing whatever I feel like is the appropriate choice. Who needs all this??

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Let's see... When dad married his 2nd wife, we tried to figure out a Christmas schedule.

Christmas Eve: Nope, her family celebrated at her parents.
Christmas Morning: Nope, that was reserved for her kids only
Christmas Afternoon: Nope, that was dinner with the family at Dads/her house but we weren't invited
Christmas Evening: Yes, we could do that but her kids stayed there and watched us.

For many years, Dad just did Christmas Eve dinner and presents with us. His wife never joined us.

It was lovely and that family dynamic was one of the driving reasons that I took a job out of state those many years ago.

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@belyndag: During my divorce, DH meant D'Head.

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@wilfbrim, @magic cave, @havocsback: LOL! So sorry. I picked the abbreviations up from some social-media-savvy friends and found that they're pretty popular:

DH = Dear Husband. Great abbreviation since the D can, at least in your mind, be used for damn, darn, dingbat, darling, dipstick, etc., depending on the circumstances and mood. Same for the others:

DW = Dear Wife

DS = Dear Son

DD = Dear Daughter

As havocsback said, B = biotch, and that was definitely how DD has been acting. Stuck in the middle, for sure, so I can be sympathetic to her distress, but seriously? Yelling at me when I just ask if she has to work on Monday? "Why would you ASK me that? What do you MEAN by that?"

MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL all refer to in-laws, of course.

Wilfbrim - Thanks for the laugh. When I see "What kind of mother are you?" I wait to get beaten up for creating this Jerry Springer-esque family. Argh!!!!

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@havocsback: @havocsback: Not quite. DD=Darling Daughter, DS=Darling Son. Son and fiancee of daughter mixed it up, now the fiancee is banned from the house, son has a messed up hand (what kind of mom are you @belyndag, didn't you teach them not to hit a somebody on the face/head with a fist? That is what beer bottles are for) and daughter is kind of caught between her fiancee and the rest of her family, and being a biotch about it. How did I do there?

Wow. This is way better than the TV. Keep 'em coming. I'll just uncork a bottle of Woot Barely Adequate Gift red tonight and read these as they come in.

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@magic cave: Lemme guess: Divorced Daughter, Divorced Sister, and B = Biatch.
Score me, now I'm curious. I only suspect these things since I'm the only 1 of 5 kids who's not divorced, and none of my nieces or nephews on my side is still on their original spouse. I can't keep up with 'em all, haven't even tried to learn all the new names- what's the point?

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@pstrnutbag44: I was 50 pages into my first Hemingway book (back around age 16 or so) before I realized why he so often repeated the word "expletive."

As in, "The expletive weather was not as expected and the expletive boat....."

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@belyndag: I give up. What is a DD and DS? And B -- what is B?

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Family'd out this year, so spending the holidays solo. Been very relaxing so far.

Good luck y'all. :)

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I gave up long ago...Now I live peacefully, sans family. My choice. Better for me that I've left them physically (geographically & mentally). Best of luck to those of you who have not made that decision.

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My immediate family lives on the other side of the country as the rest of our family. We have offered for them to come see us, but we do not go over there. They are all spread out around the east coast and it is not feasible to see them all and would not be fair to see just 1 or 2. No one gets together for the holidays, so the 3 of us just do our own thing.

No ranting here, but I feel for all of you that have to vent. I guess I am pretty lucky in having a relaxing holiday.

Here's to Wine.woot

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Nah, I've done my time. Now, if I don't like the way it's going, I just leave, or feign illness & call in sick. Fun's fun, but I don't need to take the crap anymore(and I'm SURE that I'm a joy to be around as well...).

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This is a "I know there are things that I could do or say to make this better but I've tried and it hasn't work and it probably won't and I just need to vent somewhere that my family won't see this" question.

I.....am stunned by the accuracy and relevancy of this right now...LONG story real short.....see, I've got no family of my own really (never had much of one).....love my in-laws....but since I have been insanely crammed (Trying for Law Degree, Gov't Employee, single father of 2 and my own mother who's mentally/physically deteriorating rapidly) for so long, they're convinced I hate them simply because I can't make it over there (this is in another town, mind you).....and would like for my long-term girlfriend to now cut me off because of it......NOTHING I've ever said/done works.....SO F'NG FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!!!! I OFFICIALLY AM NOT LIKING THIS CHRISTMAS!

Edited to take out my boo-boo word

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For the record: original tags:
chat family threehouseholdsoneroofyoucandothemath frustration justneedtovent

Yes, wow, I can relate to much of this. This year I am staying here. My fiancee is staying where she is to spend one last year with her mother and family there. Given that at least on SIL to be (really, two) are full of crazy I'm glad I'm not there. I'm also very happy that I will miss that mess. When I was last there the fiancee and her mom skipped out on the rest of her family to spend Christmas dinner with me. Partly because I'm a much better cook, but also to avoid the craziness. Quite a statement from her mom, as we can't communicate well directly (my Spanish is as bad as her English).

This year I didn't go to visit my mother and sister (who live on the other side of the country). I can only deal with the lot of them in relatively short amounts. Two weddings in 6 months (brother in Aug, mine in Feb) are bad enough without holiday family joy.

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This was a fun read...ahhh the good old days. We used to have no less than 30 people under one roof and it was bedlam. My biggest rant about Family this year is that the rotten buggers keep dying on me!! The last of my siblings passed a few months ago, and the Grandbabies will be with their Dad this year so it's just myself, the Hubby, DD and SIL having a quiet dinner for 4. (the rest are all too far away) It's all good though!! We are supposed to have a good snowfall on Christmas day which is pretty rare for us, I plan on enjoying every flake! :-)

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The crazy comes and goes like some communal plague spread through my maternal extended family. This season it's aunt #2 and her son who have it. Thanksgiving was pretty bad, and our Christmas party was last night. Avoided aunt #2 like the plague, and I'll probably get flack for that from my mother. Tough cookies. I told her about the issues at hand and that I wouldn't be speaking to aunt if I could avoid it, so my mom hanging out with her had the inevitable consequence of no baby granddaughter time.

Cousin (aunt #2's late 20's son) had the gem of the night when he butted into my conversation with one of my sane cousins. "Is she going to be a midget?" because that's the logical place to go from my saying my little squish is in the 5th percentile for height.

I'm seriously thinking of just getting together here and there as we can with whoever's sane for the moment during non-holiday times next year.

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I reserve my place. Family thing is next couple days. I will see what comes up new this year. I have a large family and it will be something.

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Why, yes, yes I do. I recently made the two hour trip to visit Mom, specifically to set up her new tablet, and show her how to navigate it. My brother, who works 5 minutes away, shows up, knowing I was there. He wants us to go with his familly to pick out pumpkins. Cool, sounds good, a diversion, but fun. But there is no room for me in the car, BECAUSE THEY BROUGHT THEIR FULL TIME SERVANT! We spent 20 minutes in the parking lot, me saying, don't worry, I'll see you when you get back, and him insisting I must go, but not offering any solution, one of which would have been to let the servant wait at my Mom's, but no. Only then does he finally remember that he has a third seat. While at the pumpkin patch, I watch my SIL give my nephew a phobia about horses, but that is another story.
In the interest of disclosure, they are both psycologists, and have 3 healthy kids.

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No one on my mother's side of the family is ever on time. Ever. They set the time for events, then show up 15 to 60 (yes, 60) minutes late. I find it extremely disrespectful and have brought it up multiple times, but the response I invariably receive from each of them is, "Well, I know everyone else is going to be late, why should I show up on time?"

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OHMYGODWHEREDOISTART??!!

In-laws: MIL here in town hosts a Christmas Eve dinner but has started inviting her EX DIL who DH hateshateshates for what she did to his late brother before and after they split up. We are left with the option of having her intrude on our Christmas Eve festivities, or of being the black sheep who refuse to visit his widowed mother that evening. We caved but found that MIL was counting on us to provide the entree, regardless AND hasbeen blabbing to others about a family issue we specifically asked her to keep quiet. URGH!

My widowed mom and sister live several hours away and I am the black sheep for being too far away to provide much help. Had a dispute with everyone last week, but it SEEMS to be blowing over. Fingers crossed.

At home, DS & future SIL had a fight that came to blows on Monday. DS is having anxiety attacks and has a cracked wrist. Future SIL is banned from our house for the forseeable future. DD is stuck in the middle but being a B.

Humbug!

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Anyone else check this thread to make sure it wasn't their family talking about them? No... oh just me then!

To answer the question, usually yes. With 5 sisters, one brother, unstable family members, interesting in-laws, and the holidays all at once, I usually need to unload at some point. Just oddly enough, not this year.

Sorry you're stressed. Just go to the store and buy the apples you and your dad want. Then, consider throwing them at people who annoy you.

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I have had many of these holidays too. I have a sister that does not do any of the prep work (my kids and I help my mom by shopping, chopping, and baking on the days leading up to each holiday) and then she shows up on the holiday when we are all in the kitchen putting the meal together. She stands around and proceeds to tell us all how we are doing everything wrong and how we could do it all better (without lifting a finger to help). She will also critique the tried and true recipes and tell us how we should prepare the food, even if the item is something she will never eat. Way too much advise and too little help!

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Two DILs who refuse to really get along with everyone - just because. One really should be on some strong drugs but won't let anyone in the family approach her doctor to get her evaluated (she acts like a spoiled 13 YO and is in her 30s; it's all about me); while there is hope for the other the wheels move slowly.

Two additional DILs are just fine and a lot of fun to be around.

Just a sample of what goes on. The one that acts like a spoiled 13 YO just found out two others are pregnant and she threw a fit, slamming doors, etc. Anything that draws attention away from her is bad as far as she's concerned.

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I hear your pain. Finally asked sister in law NOT to come (too many issues to say) but still stuck with an 8 year old nephew who WILL be in jail someday.