How to remedy sun burnt behind?
(photo's available upon request)
So, long story short my gym was offering a promo where you got $10 worth of free sports drinks if you tried out their new tanning beds. As the expert mooch I am I took them up on their offer. After the 10 minutes recommended by the employee I am now severely burned in all places that the sun doesn't normally shine. It hurts to lay, sit, stand, wear pants or move in any way.
Suggestions for quickly remedying my unfortunate predicament?