questionsdoes anyone dress up anymore?

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vote-for19vote-against

I do for real special occasions like weddings and funerals. I wear a suit for those events.

If I'm going to the mall, I dress nicely in khaki's and a collared shirt. If I go to the gym, that's when I wear shorts and a t-shirt.

vote-for17vote-against

I definitely dress up when the occasion calls for it. I've never heard of people going to a wedding in shorts and flip-flops! Could it be a regional thing? Or maybe it stated "informal" on the invitation? Even at that, though, flip-flops? I don't get that.

vote-for28vote-against

I still dress up, even when I know that it will mark me out of the crowd. I attended a funeral a couple of weeks ago, and I was so shocked at the attire I almost forgot to concentrate on the family, and their sorrow. I saw clothing that ranged from "border line hooker" to "cleanest shirt on the floor" (I had brothers, I know how that works). Besides the funeral home staff, I was the only one dressed in black, and certainly the only one dressed up.

I don't expect the family to be conscious of what they're wearing. It's a sad enough time without worrying about something so unimportant. The others? To me, it just seemed disrespectful.

One of the perks to being a woman of a certain age is that if you are the only one dressed up, no one really pays any attention. Still, it made me quite sad.

I am from the era where you had white gloves for fancy events, and my mother always dressed up to go shopping downtown. People were kinder, too.

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For someone who has a ton of tshirts, it seems strange to say this, but yes, I do dress up when the occasion calls for it.

It's not often, though. I can count on one hand how many times I dressed up in the past 3 years.

vote-for14vote-against

For weddings, I always try to wear at least khakis with a tucked in collared shirt. Usually it'll be a full suit, for sure, but I've been to a couple in Cali where the dress code was supposed to be a little more laid back. I really do like dressing up for big events, even though it seems the trend is growing away from that.

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Absolutely, I do.

My mother taught me that dressing well is an additional sign of respect for the event to which one is going. Making an effort to look clean, put-together, and (if one has the talent) elegant shows on the most basic, superficial, animal level that one cares for the social contract that has made it possible for people to share whatever experience. Of course, there's the problem that Dressing Up gets all classist and dogmatic in application and expectation. But keeping it on the simplest, personal level, there's something about getting dressed up that can be rather wonderfully ceremonial and can add an intangible Specialness to whatever follows.

And all this is why I like wearing my nastiest jeans and ugliest tshirts when I visit my grandmother.

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People who dress casually will make excuses for their laziness by saying something like, "it's what's on the inside that counts" or some similar notion. While I appreciate the thought we, as humans, put an emphasis on what we see - regardless of who we are. This applies to what we see in other people and what we see in ourselves. There are studies showing that in an office, people who are dressed more formally tend to stay on task and get more done than those who are dressed casually. Like it or not, clothes can be a way of telling our brains what mode it should be in. It also gives others a glimpse into our mindset.

Yes, clothes aren't everything, but they do mean something.

vote-for11vote-against

I avoid dressing up, but I definitely wear a suit at weddings and funerals. That's the only reason I own it.

I've been the only dressed-up person at a wedding reception before, and that was pretty annoying. Even the bride, groom, and wedding party changed into jeans and t-shirts on the way to the reception.

vote-for13vote-against

Short funny story, I almost went to my friend's dad's funeral wearing a Left 4 Dead t-shirt. Forgot where we were headed and I had to turn around and change into a suit lest look ridiculous and absolutely crass.

I dress up for funerals. Thats about it since none of my friends get married. When I get married, I wont fault anyone for wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Hell, ill encourage it. I hate suits and you being comfortable is a hell of a lot better to me then you looking professional at my wedding.

Just dont wear all black.

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For special occasions? Definitely. For day to day wear, I try to not look like a slob.

The real question here should be, who dresses up without a special occasion?

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@csunwold: Who dresses up without a special occasion? Me. Often. As I'd said earlier, it's one of the nice things about growing older. I save my old clothes and tee shirts for gardening, and washing windows, and try to make an effort otherwise.

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What @wnyx585am says is true. In the office, the mere difference of wearing a tie with your suit or not makes a big difference on perception. I've gone through several phases in the last 5 years of wearing a tie or not. Not only do people in the office treat me differently, but so do people in restaurants and retail stores. And I honestly feel better about myself when I look more polished. I won't leave the house in sweatpants either. Even to run to the store for 10 minutes, I'll throw on a pair of pants.

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Was it an outdoor wedding? I can't imagine dressing up too much for an outdoor- khaki shorts is about the most formal I'd go. But for indoor weddings, I try to at least be presentable. I don't have a lot of super nice clothes, but I wouldn't be wearing a t-shirt.

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i wear scrubs to work. sometimes when i get home its nice to put on something other than pajama like work clothes, i may even put on a dress shirt and pants. I have two shirts that use cuff links but i use elastic type with knots on the end.

vote-for11vote-against

Almost always. Even for work/school, I wear suits, ties, etc. We've lost all touch with etiquette, style, etc. these days

On a similar note, you "gentlemen" who do not take your hats off indoors anymore, especially in the presence of a lady, REALLY need a talking to (or to just get off my lawn)!

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I don't do married/buried/fancy restaurants, but on my occasional church attendances I dress nicely. I couldn't tell you when the last time was that I wore a tie though. IIRC it was a skinny black leather one. Remember those?

vote-for9vote-against

Weddings, funerals, church, and anything else that seems to be appropriate.

I look around me and sometimes wonder if I'm at a pajama party or the gym. Then there are the others you can't quite figure out where they fit in.

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I dress up when it is required.

I was taught to wear your best clothing for sunday (church), funerals, weddings, special occasion dinners (like anniversaries, or mother's day).

I occasionally dress up for dates, the big ones anyways.

That being said, I tend to wear a long sleeve charcoal gray dress shirt as a coat and it comes in handy for those times I forget and I'm wearing something inappropriate underneath.

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@csunwold: like @shrdlu I do. It was ingrained in me growing up that you should always dress nice when you are going out (to the mall, traveling, etc). I've had my grandmother refuse to take me shopping before because I was wearing jeans. My mom always made us wear our nicest clothes to go on long car trips (I still don't understand that, but I still abide by it).

At this point in my life (mid thirties), I have a job where I can't get that dressed up. Business casual is the norm, but my office is out on a manufacturing floor and I often am out working with operators and equipment, so there is a good chance I will get filthy. Always pants, and not much jewelry allowed. So on the evenings and weekends, I like to dress up more and wear the clothes I like and don't get to wear at work. Heck, I usually wear skirts to workout in (I'm one of those people :)

But my husband will dress up only when absolutely required - so we make quite a pair.

vote-for9vote-against

Love the question. It reminds me of a pic in the Washington Post during the (second) Bush Administration. A championship women's sports team visited the White House to have a photo taken with the President, and the formal photo shot in the Oval Office clearly showed that at least one of the young women (college age, I think) wore flip flops. TO THE OVAL OFFICE. TO MEET THE PRESIDENT.

I'd like to think I'd do better than that, but then I'm an old fart.

I'm afraid I go to many more funerals nowadays than weddings, and I'm probably more attuned to the idea of showing respect when going to a funeral than in most other situations. When I die, I intend to hover and take names of anyone who shows up at my funeral in less than proper attire. But I'll give extra credit to anyone who wears a Woot! shirt, especially any Woot! shirt featuring at least one cat.

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I can't imagine -- literally, can't imagine -- anyone over the age of 17 who thinks it's acceptable to go to a wedding in jeans.

What little hope I had for the survival of civilization has now been dashed on the rocks.

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@pstrnutbag44: Re: hats indoors -- BRAVO (BRAVA?) for your comment!

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I'm a jeans or capris and tee-shirt gal! Luckily my job doesn't force me to wear otherwise. However, if I'm going to church, a funeral or a wedding, or even a nice restaurant, I tend to go into khakis or black dress pants and a nice pheasant style shirt. I've been known to wear dresses and skirts to a wedding, but it's so rare, people almost pass out in shock! The nicest I've ever dressed was on a formal night on a cruise, I even had my hair done! I felt like a queen, but I couldn't walk in the high heels, lol!

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@baybei:Not trying to belittle you in any way, but is a "pheasant style" shirt feathered, or did you mean "peasant"? :) Sorry if I'm out of line, but my inner grammar police mode is bursting.

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Don't often attend functions where I need to dress up. Have attended 3 weddings in the past 19 years; all relatives. Wore a dress & heels to each. In retrospect it was fun playing dress-up. ;-)

When I go shopping, I usually wear black or blue jean leggings (not the skin tight kind) & a nice tee.. In cooler weather I add a jacket, cardigan or blazer. Color of the t & jacket varies depending on my mood. Shoes are often Vibrams. o-O

When I travel by plane I wear comfortable pocketed pants, usually black. I pair that w/a s/s plain tee &/or a long sleeve turtle neck & always have a blazer. It's a uniform, of sorts. I like to think I never look over or under-dressed.

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I think the jeans to a wedding might be a southern thing? It doesn't seem to be unusual to the weddings I've been too. I usually at least try to put on a nice blouse and skirt, though.

Funerals I always dress as somberly as I can. Maybe not black, but dark brown or blue is also appropriate. I might be a bit old-fashioned, but I always get a little shocked when I see people wearing red to funerals. I was under the impression that it was one of the few really inappropriate funeral colors.

What I'd really like is a reason to go all-out and dress up. A wedding of my own seems too expensive and frivolous an occasion (I can think of a million other things to drop a few grand on), I'd be just as happy take a quick weekend trip to Vegas or even just drive down to the courthouse. What I'd like to do is go to a charity event that's black tie so I can get all fancied up without having to shoulder the bill for the entire party.

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@purplefeather: Jeans at a funeral aren't appropriate in MY parts of the south! Well, maybe for some of the younger folks who probably don't have anything else to wear, but even those seem to show up in collared shirts neatly tucked in, at least at the funerals I've been attending.

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Parroting what others have said but I seriously find it atrocious that some people do not dress up.
Just got back from a wedding and yup, you guessed it, jeans and sneakers. (Wisconsin)
If you don't dress up for the wedding, don't go eat their free food.. it's seriously the LEAST you can do.. just try.. no one is expecting GQ.
@magic cave: You sum up my disdain well.

vote-for4vote-against

I dress up for things that require it. I would never wear t-shirts, shorts, jeans, or flip flops to a wedding, funeral, etc. It makes you look like a slob. There's no reason a man shouldn't own at least one suit or at least slacks and collared shirts to wear to such events.

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I am a "don't give a darn" about clothng and makeup around the house when I have no plans at all to go anywhere other than the mailbox. I do dress up for club meetings, church, civic functions, formal activities. I am pretty casual when going to the grocery store or gas station or just out and about meaning slacks/skirts and a nice tee top. But then again, who wants to see really old people in shorts - yuck!

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I don't know why anyone is surprised. It's now acceptable to wear velour pants that say juicy on the bottom. To school, to work, what the hell.

I've given up on society for a lot of things, clothes being just one--because of everyday more then forgetting to dress properly for an event.

On wearing jeans to a more formal occasion--there's a way to do it that is ok. Jeans that are a dark wash, not distressed or flashy, not tight or baggy and are a standard cut--basically, a pair of trousers that happens to be made out of jean, that's fine, and most people will never notice anyway. And they must be paired with a proper top and proper shoes, etc. But I have nice trousers that aside from the material are basically indistinguishable from my nice jeans. And the fanciest I think it's ok for is when men have to wear jackets, but not suits.

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@pstrnutbag44
Wearing a baseball cap to a game is the one place appropriate for men to wear hats inside. Women...I know of three who wear women's hats. One who does regularly. More wear summer hats, but maybe a couple times a year.

Men....I know no man who wears anything but baseball caps, none who do it regularly....(ignoring things like a "theatre phase" or an "art phase" when suddenly there are berets everywhere). And I know of none who take them off when indoors.

I'm unsure if I blame more modern cars for this or not. It is harder though these days when practically no one has heard of checking a hat and if you take yours off indoors there's really nothing to do with it.

I have a feeling most people now wear hats when they have bad hair days. Ironically more for men then women. I know a lot of guys (tend to be older but not all of them) who ask "how bad's my hair?" and that determines whether or not they put on the baseball cap of choice.

vote-for4vote-against

I dress up for work (I work in a law office), church on Sunday (skirt or dress), going out with my SO, and any major event. My kids do as well.

While we are often among the most dressed up for events, I was brought up to believe that getting dressed up shows respect, and I want to show respect at a funeral, wedding, etc. My kids agree, and are appalled (even the 8yo!) at some of the outfits we've seen.

vote-for2vote-against

I dress up for special events. I also have a couple of evening gowns for formal nights on cruises. To me, dressing up is like holidays on the calendar. It's a break in the routine. I hate it when one day is just like the one before it and the one before that. I celebrate every holiday, I dress casual-nice for work, and on Thursdays (which is my Friday as I work 4/10), I go with a vacation theme and wear tropical clothes and jewelry I bought on my travels. In the winter when it's not so hot I dress casual-nice for the mall or the movies, but summertime is shorts, t-shirts and sandals for leisure activities as it's too hot (over 100F most of the summer) for real clothes.

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@mikecris: It's more than just wearing a tie.

There was an article a few years back now (which I can't find now, driving me crazy but I will) where a writer at...I want to say the New York Times but I could be wrong...

anyway, he'd heard women complain that they had to do more looks wise to be taken seriously in a professional capacity. So he decided to test that with man-makeup. He got help with with tinted moisturizers, etc. And he started using them without telling anyone what he was doing. Everyone thought he looked better--"did you lose weight?", "I like that new haircut"--but no one new what he'd done. About two weeks in, he was running late, didn't have the time and skipped his new morning protocol. Everyone at work thought he looked awful, kept asking him in he was sick, needed to go home.

Appearances--perception matters. Just because no one says anything doesn't mean that they aren't judging (and acting) on what they see.