INTERNET(royters) - Today, in a bold effort to be more clingy than other air carriers, JetBlue announced a new sales push, urging passengers to "be exclusive." Industry expert Gag Halfrunt commented, "Really, this is just a very late, sad echo of Virgin's tried-and-tested slogan, `Take us for all we've got.`" However, when pressed to explain why such a lecherous motto was the yardstick for marketing taglines, his response was quite terse. "Branson's just zis guy, ya know?"
Concerned that the DirecTV-provided array of inflight entertainment combined with relatively low fares and a substantial selection of direct flights would increase air travel, Greenpeace was said to be investigating fitting lift jets to their new ship for "direct action" in protest of JetBlue's scheme. When asked if they might have just watched too much Star Blazers as children, their spokesperson vehemently replied, "We'll just see what they say when the Yama- I mean Rainbow Warrior III lifts off!"