This is the ThinkGeek April 1 purchase I'd make. If I could.
Redrum in the nehctik
This knife's a screamer
This premium Chef's knife minces, slices, chops, cuts, and even can be used for disjointing cuts of beef. For you knife nerds, we'd also like to mention that the blade comes with differential sharpening. While the knife nerds have a geekgasm, we'll let you non-knife nerds know that means that the tip is super sharp for fine mincing, the mid-section is moderately sharp for everyday cutting, and the heel of the blade has a thick edge for more heavy-duty jobs.