Forget high definition! Throw out your Blu-ray player! Burn your iPad and flush its ashes down the toilet just for good measure!
Yes, all those technological "advancements" are as good as dead now that Headline Shirts has introduced the latest, greatest thing in personal entertainment. Presenting... STEREOPHONIC SOUND!
That's right! No more of that monophonic garbage! Stereophonic -- or "stereo" -- sound uses TWO separate channels to produce a more realistic effect by creating the impression of sound heard from various directions. Just think of what it will be like hearing your favorite opera or Buddy Holly tune--
Wait, what? It's already been invented? When was this? No kidding, that long ago? Well I guess it did seem a little strange that no one would've thought of it by now.
Still though, it looks cool on a t-shirt