iPhone 4 Attenuation Removal Machine: iARM for $3.29
We have discovered the cause of the dramatic drop in bars on the iPhone 4, and it is both simple and surprising. Upon investigation, we were stunned to find that people are using their hands to hold the iPhone.
To fix this, we suggest adopting the Attenuation Removal Machine or iARM to make all of your calls. Our lab tests have proven, using a plastic robot hand will not only provide better reception and faster data streaming, it will stop people from sitting next to you on planes and buses.
We hope you love the iARM as much as we do.
by
shawnmiller
added a year ago
incredible Appendage thats Revolutionary and Magical. iARM. Pre-order now.
Ahahahahaha.
"it will stop people from sitting next to you on planes and buses."
BAHAHAHAHA
There is no problem with the iPhone 4. iPhone 4 is perfect. The problem is with the inherent capacitance and conductivity of the human body. Eventually, you will evolve into a form suitable to operate the iPhone 4. Until then, this indispensable Apparatus for the Retention of Microwaves will suffice. We can rebuild you. We have the technology.
ok... that's pretty funny. well done
@mcguffy: Ah. Singularity. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Technological_singularity
I'm sure one of these would solve the problem:
http://www.otterbox.com/iphone-cases/iphone-4-cases/
I use one of their cases on the 3gs and I know my hand is no where near the phone.
@rfsmit: I like the theory of the Singularity, and have read the book, but Kurzweil's glaring fetish for nanobots aside, I think he misses the boat in that computers, while they've gotten much faster, haven't gotten a single "bit" (pun intended) smarter-as-in-closer-to-sentient in decades. The Turing test is safe for the forseeable future imo.
@mcguffy: You're quite right, up until your last sentence. It will require a breakthrough, not gradual improvement, but breakthroughs are not very predictable. There is no safe money bet, either pro or con, for any particular timeframe. It could happen in 5 years.
For it not to happen in 50 years, however, would seem to be going in the direction of being impossible, and there simply is no reason to think that machine sentience is impossible.
It's also possible for something approximating a Singularity to happen without machine sentience, but what that would look like is even more fuzzy.
"Upon investigation, we were stunned to find that people are using their hands to hold the iPhone."
That sentence made me lol
Well played.
That's so damned funny, I'm ordering 2!
@mcguffy: I would agree that home computers haven't improved in their human intuition, but I think specially designed computers are working their way closer to being able to at least imitate us. All it takes is one breakthrough and an entrepreneur to take it wide scale.
Does it come in left handed?
hahah this is hilarious
LOL genius
...and the first part of my body has been replaced.
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